Thursday, May 27, 2010

It's Painful How American I Am

Yesterday was a bit of a rough day. And by that I mean really rough. I had a really hard time not being bitter about being up so late when so many people were asleep the night before. I was just so tired. Not saying that is an excuse for not necessarily loving these girls the way I know I am called to love, just being honest.

We visited our last school! It was another private school called IPA. I went over to a Kindergarten classroom for the morning. I think Kindergarten is the best age ever! You sing and dance and color and learn all kinds of new things all day long. It's awesome. And the kids are still such babies and just love you. It's perfect.

For class we practiced our presentation the whole time. I messed up a thousand times. I was exhausted and frustrated and nervous and it all just exploded. My Spanish teacher basically told me everything I said was wrong and didn't understand and changed it all. My history teacher lost my paper I gave her to revise, so she wrote something for me to say there. I didn't know any of the words. They were huge! Words I would never use at all. I just lost it. I mean the ugly cry. It was bound to happen, it just had to be me. I finally got it together enough to practice, but messed up a ton and left so discouraged. Those are the moments that I just want to quit Spanish. I have never wanted something so badly and nothing has ever been this hard for me to achieve, but now I see that it is worth it. More on today's presentation tomorrow because it is bed time :)

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