Do Frogs Fly In The United States?

I don't even understand how I could possibly be so tired. We went to the mall just to keep ourselves awake because we couldn't bring ourselves to go to bed at 7 pm. That's right, kids, 7 pm. On a Friday night. My cool factor just diminished 400%.

Yesterday I resorted to some of my favorite pictures because I had a rough day and just didn't feel the need to complain about it. But it can be summed up by the following: 1. my kids were awful and 2. it was our first day with Linda and Sophie and without Mariana and we miss her a lot. Thankfully, today was better. Not great, but better. I am learning that most of their misbehavior is a culture issue. They do not see me as a teacher and therefore do not respect my authority. So, in the words of my precious Little Brittany, I had to get loud with them today. And oddly enough, they listened. For the first time I made sense when I was talking to them. I can easily address them individually, but giving commands and addressing a group is harder (as far as verb tenses go, etc.). I finally had a little bit of control. In fact, they were actually scared of me. I finally felt like a teacher again today. I had moments of loving them and moments of wanting to scream, but that's what it's supposed to be like. I had been feeling so discouraged at times and so unable. I listened to lies the devil was feeding me about how inadequate I am and let him use my emotions against me. But not today. Michelle told us in Bible study one night to audibly tell the devil to leave, that he has no place here, and I am continually amazed at how quickly it works. He has no power against me because of the power that is in me. In the words of my Hillsong friends, "the same power that conquered the grave lives in me!" wow!

I have been working with a boy named Anthony a lot lately. I am almost positive that he has ADHD, but something else about him just isn't right. But I love him so much and he makes me laugh constantly. Well he was certainly in rare form today. He had pogs, yes, pogs. Crack. Me. Up. I had no idea kids still played with those. He wouldn't do any of his work so I made him give them to me... but he was not doing so without a fight. So after that he was mad at me all day. It seriously broke my heart, but I knew I couldn't give them back until he did his work because that was our deal. He still wasn't done when I left at 11:30, so I gave them to Juana. When I took them to get their cookies and milk (they get milk and these cookies that have basically any nutritional ingredient they might lack), he came and held my hand like he does every day, but then he remembered he was mad at me and went to the back of the line. Hear that? That's the sound of my heart breaking. Hopefully he will be over it by Monday. His last name is Darkins and because there is another Anthony in the class, sometimes they call him Darkins. Well today he decided he would ignore me until I called him Darkins. Oh how I love him and can't stand him at the exact same time. I don't have a picture of him yet, but when Sara was taking pictures he kept getting in front of her lens and this is what she got a lot of.

I'm a sucker for those big brown eyes you see staring at you.

Today I also told them that frogs fly in the United States. I had some "homework" from Juana last night. I was supposed to fill in this graphic organizer from the book and today I wrote it on the board for them to copy. (we do a lot of copying because they don't have books. I hate it, but they don't have any other choice.) The organizer was about animals and how they move and communicate. As I was writing on the board (which I definitely need more practice at), Jessica said, "Maestra Carmen (they call me Carmen because they can't say Caitlin), do frogs fly in the United States?" Well she talks really fast and, of course, in Spanish, and I honestly did not understand what she was saying, so I just said yes. Because that's what you do when you don't understand kids because "si" can also be kinda like, "oh really?" She was amazed and said, "Frogs don't fly in Panama!" Then I thought about it for a second and realized what she had said. And then realized that I had written frogs and grasshoppers under the category of "animals that fly" because I read "fly" and thought "jump." They just thought that was hilarious. And I must admit, it is pretty funny. For the rest of the day Juana and the kids were telling everyone about it. All of Omar Torrijos will be talking about the stupid American with the difficult name who thought frogs fly. I'm certainly leaving a legacy.

I'm learning a lot about teaching, mostly through mistakes that are made in my classes and in the elementary school. Today my history teacher made me read a big section from a newspaper. People who write newspaper articles are highly educated people and a lot of the words are hyphenated and aren't on the same line, making them even more difficult. I felt and sounded like a Kindergartner reading that. It was so hard and I didn't comprehend a single thing. She got pretty tired of hearing me stumble and took it from me and finished reading when I was in the middle of a sentence. I was so frustrated by the time I finished reading that I wanted to cry. How many times do we do the same thing to our English Language Learners? We expect them to just be able to read and then tell what it is about, but they are so focused on reading that they have no idea. We learn that concept over and over in class, but it means nothing until you know how it feels, and none of us remember learning English at all. Later we met a lady who is in charge of some community outreach kinda deal at UDELAS and she stood right in front of the table Joanna, Sarah, and I were sitting at and talked so loud right at us. It was terrifying. We really have to concentrate when people are talking to us in the first place, but now we were also worried about her staring us down. We do that to ELL students too. We put them in the front right next to us so that they can hear us better, but that is really just more intimidating and their brains just shut down. I am so thankful for this experience so that I can better cater to the future ELL students in my class, or even children whose second language is Spanish in a Spanish speaking country.

We also now have a seven year old living with us. Mariana left and Linda and Sophie are here now. Our quiet house now has a lot more noise. There is no alone time to be found. Don't get me wrong, she's sweet, it's just an adjustment. Today she invited me to her picnic downstairs and told me I'm in her club. At least she thinks I'm cool, even if I do want to go to bed at 7:00. She also lost a tooth today. I don't know if you know this about me, but I would rather deal with a child who is throwing up or change a diaper or wipe a nose than a loose tooth. I can't handle it. I also told her if she kept losing teeth she wouldn't have any more... and then turned around because that must have been my grandmother speaking, not this cool, 21 year old college student. Joanna has had to edit her speech a lot more which is very comical because she chooses phrases such as "oh goodness me!"

random thoughts::

-today is the half way point!

-I miss my people.

-you have to take your own toilet paper everywhere.

-it's still hot.

-my hair is getting long.

-fresh French bread is 55 cents.