I was 14 when I first felt that God was calling me into ministry. At the time I was totally freaked out. I thought that God was going to call me to the remote jungles and I had to go right that second. I, of course, was not ready for that at the moment, but my little brian could not comprehend how God was going to grow in and prepare me at all. One thing I did know from the beginning was that I had a very strong desire to go to Mexico. Most of this stemmed from a book that I read that just lit a fire in my heart for that country and those children. For about 2 years I still struggled with telling my parents what I knew God was doing in my heart. It has been a struggle for them to understand, but God has done so much work in their hearts and it has been amazing to watch. Even though I have gone different places and tried to go other places, I have still always had a heart to go to Mexico.
Most of you know that I have had a bit of a rough time trying to go on pretty much any trip. First was Jamaica my freshman year of college. I really wanted to go and I honestly could have worked it out, but my heart wasn't there anymore. I really wanted to go, but the more I prayed about it the more I just felt like God was saying "no", and that was really hard for me to admit, but I knew I couldn't go if God wasn't calling me there. My church also goes to Haiti every year and I have been dying to go. My parents weren't comfortable with that because there is a lot of political unrest and streak of kidnappings going on. I thought I was finally getting somewhere when the opportunity came up for me to study abroad in Mexico for a month. I was going to work in the schools while taking and education class and 2 Spanish classes and would have my minor by the time I came home. Finally, I was going to get to leave the country! Then I wanted to go to Africa with 410 Bridge. It is a program that lasts 4 weeks and works to build schools and orphanages. I ended up not being able to apply because they were leaving 2 days before we were supposed to come back from Mexico. So at least I'm going to Mexico, right? Right about the time school was ending, Jessica asked me if I wanted to go to Haiti with her and her church. Do I?! YES! And then my parents said a big, resounding, "NO". Awesome. And about a week after we got out of school... enter swine flu. And exit study abroad trip. So I was upset that I couldn't go to Haiti, now I wasn't going to Mexico, and I could have gone to Africa. So that left me at home for the summer. Now, as I have written before, I am actually very thankful that I was home for the month of May because I see that God needed me here and not in Mexico. But nonetheless, I spent the summer watching and praying for my friends as they went to Swaziland, Costa Rica, Kenya, Haiti, and Russia. It was difficult to watch them go, but I felt so privileged to be able to commit to praying for them all daily and be a part of that experience with them through prayer.
Well, it's my turn, kids. 2 weeks from today I will be in Mexico. I hate to admit that I have been full of so much doubt about this trip. I guess I have just been so disappointed recently that I just didn't want to be disappointed again. I have realized that this was actually me doubting God, and that is a sin that I, unfortunately, struggle with sometimes. I was really focusing on learning what it means to believe God for the things He has promised and was applying that to every area of my life except for this. Yesterday I got a package from my mom that also had an itinerary for Linds and I, and it suddenly hit me that this is really happening. I'm really going. 2 weeks from today I will be holding precious babies and precious little hands and playing with precious children. 2 weeks from today I will be laying my head down on my pillow within the borders of another country. 2 weeks from today I will be speaking Spanish on a daily basis, surrounded by my favorite language at all times. 2 weeks from today I will be worshipping in Spanish, with other people, not just by myself. 2 weeks from today I will finally be out of this country and in a place where I feel like I actually belong, which is pretty much anywhere outside of this country. This is really happening. After 6 years, I'm really going to Mexico. Once again, God proves His faithfulness.
How, then, can they call upon the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written, "How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!" Romans 10:14-15