I'm White, Not Deaf

It's been a weird day. That's the only way I really know to describe it. It was our first morning at UDELAS (that's the name of the university. I have no idea what it stands for even though I'm sure they've told us a million times) and our first day at the elementary schools. When we got to UDELAS we met a whole bunch of people and I have no idea who they are or what their names are. A bunch of important people in a room is about all. A whole lot of talking going on and a whole lot of me being completely lost. And overwhelmed. And an unfortunate habit of incomplete sentences apparently. Side note: apparently our 2.5 hour walk to Casco Antigua yesterday was really ridiculous because everyone freaked out when we told them we walked there from Punta Paitilla. It's so funny, but I also feel like they think we're idiots for even thinking we could do that.

They took us to the elementary school first and showed us around and we met the principal and some teachers. Then they put us in a classroom with a teacher. My teacher speaks no English at all. Not a single word. So that's fun. Communication was not easy, but we managed and laughed about it a lot. She invited me to come to her house one weekend. She lives on a farm out in the country, so that should be really fun for a weekend trip. I really didn't know what was going on during the class very much. It would have been easier if I had something to look at probably, but they don't have books. I really enjoyed it... minus the select few who were right up in my face speaking very loudly as though I can't hear them. I am white, not deaf. Though I know both are unfortunate.

We ate lunch in the cafeteria at UDELAS with some students that had been hanging out and talking with us all day. They are so nice and are so good about helping us when we don't understand things. I mean, of course it's awkward every once in a while, but I am thankful to have someone to talk to us and help us practice.

We met our teachers and I think I'm really going to love our culture teacher... not sure about the others. They don't really know how to annunciate and mumble all the time. Some people are just a lot easier to understand and are mindful of the fact that we don't exactly speak Spanish as well... but others just don't seem to grasp that. And unfortunately, those others are my teachers. So that will be interesting. We didn't really have class today. Instead we went on a tour of the whole school. And met 563 people. Don't know their names either or most of what they said. It's great. And this man took 1,276 pictures of us all day long, which made me feel like the Paparazzi was following us and caused me to break out singing that song all day long. It was just awkward and felt like we were being shown around like little show dogs. Awkward. We were just exhausted and I just wasn't sure I could take much more.

It was such an overwhelming day. My brain is on overload. I suddenly feel like I don't know anything at all and can't communicate whatsoever. It's really discouraging. I know it will get better (I mean it has to right? living here and all), but right now it is just too much for me to take in. I am on sensory overload. I just wish that I could understand what was going on all the time and not look so stupid and confused... typical American. I know God doesn't make mistakes, but I mean, I should have been a brown girl. It's in my blood and in my heart, but it hasn't made it to my brain yet apparently. It's also hard not to have my people here constantly encouraging me and lifting me up. I miss y'all a lot. 

Tomorrow morning comes early so we have turned into grandmas around her and are going to bed at 9:45. Hope all is well stateside!

random thoughts:

-I have the most white girl name ever. no one can say it. mostly they call me Cait, which makes me feel like they are my best friend because only my close friends actually call me that.

-turns out Hispanic kids love me. probably because I should have been born Hispanic.

-the crazy curly hair followed me to Panama. shoulda known it wouldn't stay at home.

-cars honk their horns a lot around here.

-right outside our windows. I am thankful for the rain app.
-there is not Diet Coke to be found in this country. words cannot express the distress I am in right now and the detox is sure to set in soon.
-they do, however, have Zours, which are my favorite candy in the world and are not easy to find. I wish I had known I was giving up Diet Coke for the sake of Zours.
-best cookies ever: Leches. who knew amazing cookies could be called something as simple as "milk"

-confession: "stateside" is one of my favorite words and amount of joy I felt from typing that on my blog is more than I am willing to admit.