St. Simon's, Here I Come!

I'm meeting Ali, Meg, and Leon at Starbucks in less than 5 hours. And I just got home. And haven't started packing. And my head is pounding. On the flip side, I had a wonderful surprise adventure with Timothy tonight. I was doing the surprising and he did not like that very much, but he likes me enough that he went along with it, right Timmy? ;) Absolutely fabulous night filled with a picnic in Centennial Park and a fun drive in movie in Atlanta and my favorite person. Can't get much better than that. Unfortunately it had to end with a very tearful goodbye (on my end of things) and a very long even more tearful drive home which resulted in this awful headache. Please be praying while I'm at camp: for my girls, for the staff, and for the huddle leaders. And pray for Timmy while he is in Costa Rica for 32 very long days. I know the Lord is going to do such fabulous things with both of us and I can't wait to blog it all :) See you in 2 weeks friends!

ps- about that loving of morning... not so much the case when I have slept for less than 2 hours and meet that morning at 6 am. makes me want to recant that statement... o

I Love Morning

Yes, you read that right. I just said that I love the morning. We first began our love saga back in May while I was on my way to Timmy's house before Kati's graduation. It was insanely early and I only slept about 3 hours the night before, so I was feeling a little discouraged about being out of bed and all. But something changed as I cruised down 575. Suddenly I looked around at the rather empty road and the beautiful sun shining through those fluffy clouds in that perfectly blue sky and I just had to smile. The rest of the day was such a glorious day and I felt like I had accomplished so much, even though that mostly consisted of sitting through graduation, laying at the pool, and babysitting.

This morning that perfect morning and I met again and fell in love. I woke up around 9:30 and decided to eat my breakfast in bed. Then I delved into my Esther study, still feeling a tad bit apprehensive about it. Esther and I finally became friends. I am really starting to see how this can apply to my life and I'm excited about tomorrow! I read for a little while (or a lot) longer and then decided to try that old 30 Day Shred business. And I still hate Jillian Michaels. By the time I was done it was time for lunch with Kelly, followed by some errands, laundry, smoothies with Chelle, church, and a fun filled night at the Totten household.

What a wonderful, productive day! That morning time and I just might start meeting again more often.

Name It And Claim It

I was talking to my friend Lindsey today about camp. She is our Huddle Leader Coordinator and I cannot wait to work with her for 2 whole weeks! We started talking about any concerns we had for camp and prayer requests and such, and she said something that really struck me: take that concern and that worry, name it, and claim power over it.

I'm a worrier. That kind of girl who loses sleep at night because her mind won't stop working overtime. And I worry about things unnecessarily early, so they bother me for a week instead of a day. So many times Satan uses this against me. He knows my insecurities and when I am vulnerable and uses those as opportunities to get his foot in the door, in my heart. Maybe worrying about miniscule things will always be something I struggle with, but we have a wonderful opportunity these 2 weeks at camp and we refuse to let Satan have any part. We experienced a lot of spiritual warfare last year, and this year will be no different I'm sure, but we can take it.

No matter what it is, it's amazing to me that we have the power through Christ to name that fear, worry, or concern and claim power over it. 

"But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who believe and are saved." Hebrews 10:39   We won't shrink back and be brought down and discouraged.

"You give me Your shield of victory, and your right hand sustains me; You stoop down to make me great." Psalm 18:35   No matter what each day brings, victory is ours! Before it even begins, He has overcome and even stoops down to our level to lift us up.

5 Days And Counting...

In 5 days I will be in my favorite place on earth: Epworth by the Sea at St. Simon's Island for FCA Leadership Camp. Last year around this time I was getting ready to go stay with Coach and Jessica for a few days before and to say I was freaking out would be the understatement of the year. I didn't know anyone there and felt entirely incapable of leading high school girls. By the end of the training weekend, all worries were gone. The other Huddle Leaders (that's what counselors are called at FCA camps) were some of the greatest people I had ever met and we were already having a blast. Monday afternoon Alice, Macie, Ann, Abby, Sydney, Beth, Megan, Hope, and Victoria made Huddle 8 the greatest huddle on the island. Huddle 8, we're more than good, we're great! right girls?! They made my first FCA experience one of the best weeks of my life. I was so blessed to be welcomed in as a part of these girls' lives and watch and pray with them as 7 of them committed their life to Christ, an experience that completely changed my life. Saying goodbye to them was so incredibly hard... But not as hard as saying goodbye to all of the Huddle Leaders, some of which were staying on the island for week 2. By the middle of the week I was already regretting my decision not to apply for week 2. I cried the entire way home because I just didn't want to leave and knew that I had to work both this year. It's hard to believe that was a year ago and soon I will be making the journey back. When I think about what it will be like, I think about these girls. I imagine our cabin. I see the pink bandanas hanging on the ends of their beds and the poster on the door with all of our names with their corresponding adjective from our get-to-know-you game on the first day. I think about all the late nights I spent sitting on a towel in the bathroom floor with a flashlight and a crying, hurting teenage girl. They were the greatest group of girls, and I am going to miss them so much, but I can't wait to see what God is going to do!

just for you, girls, because I know how much you loved it: "if you ain't gettin' focused whatcha doin' in here? L.O.G.'s (that's "ladies of God" for all of you non-FCAers) in the front, all the rest in the rear. all my front line soilders say it loud and clear, we're praising God up in here, we're praising God up in here"

Daddy, Dear, You Know You're Still Number One

I feel like nothing I write could possibly do justice to how I feel about my Daddy. Yes, I'm 20 years old and I still call him Daddy, and I always will. I am the epitome of Daddy's little girl. He has shown me how I deserve to be treated by a man in my life, always been supportive of everything that I do, and has become a great spiritual leader for our family. We have so much fun together and laugh constantly. I love him so much and am so thankful for him!

side note: he informed me that I am probably going to get swine flu at camp because apparently that's what is happening and I am now taking vitamins every day. zoo chews. yummm. thanks, Daddy.

"I Feel Like We Just Signed A Marriage License"

Yesterday morning my dear friend Lindsey Carter and I signed our lease for the upcoming year! I still can hardly believe that we haven't even know each other very long. I met Linds toward the end of my freshman year when she made a visit for Jessi's senior spotlight. We hung out for a couple hours and that was the extent of our relationship. When I found out that she was transferring back to North Ga this past fall, I just thought it would be fun to have another member of our AGD family here. I am so blessed to have her in my life. Without Linds, I wouldn't have someone to document my life through pictures, cry happy tears with on the way back from a Wal Mart trip, make m&m pancakes with, stalk Karen Kingsbury and Dave Barnes, eat crazy core Skittles and sour gummy Starburts with, and pull all nighters. But more than that, she shares my heart, no matter what it's feeling that day. I don't know how I made it 19 years without her friendship. As one of our Alpha Gam songs goes, "got along without you before [I] met you, can't get along with you now"

the day we met

bid day '09

my first trip to Preacher's Rock

some words from my favorite Lindsey:

My dearest, favorite Cait,

Friend, sister, and soulmate,

Little did we know last April on that day

That we would be roommates somewhere along the way.

I said, "hi, you're fam, let's take a photo!"

And strangely enough, you didn't say "no"

Because of Karen we formed a bond

(and of her we are still very fond).

The Baxters are your family, too.

Just because of that, my love for you grew.

You share my jokes & tears & fears

& I wish I'd known you in previous years.

I love surprises of starburst and skittles,

& I'm ever-thankful for your 2 littles!

I am jealous of your espanol,

& talking like you is my life goal.

Right now I'm sitting in a boring class

Wishing I had some chocolate milk in a glass

& also that I could just go to bed

& yes, my friend, that's what she said.

Later when you live elsewhere, I'll come to visit

On a plane my kids will all sit

To come to visit the United Nations

^that's what Linds says my house will be with all my adopted kids^

Made of Mexicans, Africans, Chinese, & Haitians

Thanks for liking it when I act like your mom

Because I think you're "the bomb.com"

A Little Gold Rush College Town

Monday I came up to Dahlonega to spend some time with Savannah. She is taking classes and since I am doing nothing productive whatsoever at home, we decided it was time for a visit. Monday afternoon began with a long overdue trip to the outlets upon the discovery of the awesome shorts Sav was wearing. It was love at first sight and I could hear them calling to me all the way from Dawsonville. When we got back we discovered that we are getting old. When compared to the shorts I wore last summer, my shorts of summer 09 are a good 2 inches longer. Thank you modesty for prompting me to cover up my large backside. If you're lucky, I might even produce and ode much like that dedicated to the greatest fashion find of 08, and if that actually means something to you, then you have been a faithful bloggy friend for a long time and are much appreciated. Anyway, our return to the apartment was accompanied with the discovery of some way outdated milk (I'm talking end of April here people) in the fridge that our roommates were so kind to leave us and dirty dishes, both of which did produce some good laughs. Welcome back Cait and Sav, compliments of living with strangers. We did a mass dump of the fridge and hauled 3 huge bags all throughout Owen Hall to the dumpster. I tell you what, we felt like we were doing a Biggest Loser challenge (which in turn reminded us that we have not stuck with the 30 Day Shred like we were supposed to). Kristin graced us with her presence about 9:00, smack dab in the middle of Bachelorette so she's lucky we love her so much. For the rest of the night we enjoyed our favorite snack of cinnamon rolls and talked each other's ears off. Kristin and I didn't shut up until about 3:30. It had been way too long.

This morning we had what Sav and I call a "Saturday Morning". We slept late, had our favorite breakfast, and watched He's Just Not That Into You. What better way to spent the first part of the day than laying around in your PJ's with your friends? We ventured to Chick Fil A at about 3 for a mid day meal, if you will, where I ran into my grandparents, which was pretty cool. Unfortunately, after hanging out at Chick Fil A longer than normal people should, Kristin had to leave us to get back home. Sav and I headed back to Dawsonville for the evening and treated ourselves to a Chick Fil A milkshake for dinner. Apparently there was a 50's celebration at the Chick that no one told us about! We would have worn our poodle skirts and would have fit right in! Instead we felt awkward about the enthusiastically dresses employees and were terrified Elvis was going to come over and dance with us. Yes, he was there. The king is back in business friends. Oh what an experience! Tonight we just relaxed, made a late night run to good ole Micky D's which we will regret in the morning... or right now, and sipped coffee (ok that was just me) as we did homework and watched Slumdog Millionaire.

As we were sitting there I couldn't help but think about how much I will miss this. These moments are what college is really about. Yeah, we have to do the work and all, but this is what it all comes down to. This is what we will remember. I am so blessed to have these wonderful, godly women in my life. Though our apartment is a piece of junk and we often hate it, this is where we have made the most memories. We've had a fight in the hall way, tears (mostly mine) shed all over this place, life changing moments, and more laughter than I could even begin to explain. These are the days we'll remember; the lazy, unproductive days spend in a little gold rush college town.

us before the PIKE halloween social

Staying In Love

I finally finished watching Andy Stanley's series called Staying In Love and absolutely loved it! (no pun intended) These are just a few highlights of the notes I wrote in my journal while I watched. I averaged about 3-4 pages for each week (4 weeks) so I won't put them all up, but I would really suggest checking it out.

-The key to staying in love is to make love a verb.

-Choosing the right person is part of it, but learning to be and become the right person is the bigger part of it.

-The feelings and emotions are not the engine of the relationship.

-Love is something you actively do.

-It's about mutual submission. The biggest conflict should be who takes priority. Even if you don't make my the priority, I'm making you my priority. When you are constantly putting each other ahead of yourselves, it creates a balance.

-Submission means I place myself under you because I want to, not because you want me to or I feel like I have to.

-Falling in love requires a pulse; staying in love requires a plan. Falling in love requires attraction; staying in love requires action.

-God created me to love someone intimately in every way possible and to do life with them until death parts us, but the world tells me this isn't possible.

-Even though loving like Christ is difficult, isn't it true that I would love to be loved like that?

-The heart of staying in love is valuing him above myself. Always act like he is more important that me. I defer to him. It's about respect. All day, every day.

-How do I treat my most valuable possession? There's almost a sense of awe about it. That's how I should treat him. It comes naturally at first and then becomes something that is done intentionally. That's how the love gets deeper and better. It's a lifestyle to be developed.

-I am mostly interested in the things that interest me. I must learn to express interest in whatever he is interested in and support it.

-I can spend the rest of my life being right or I can be in love. I can't have both. (that's a big deal for stubborn me)

-It would be possible to be in love like we're 16 years old forever if our hearts had never been hurt and we didn't have any baggage, but that's not what life is like. We all have stuff inside of us and don't really know what it is until we're in a committed relationship and we hit a bump. The reason these "things" come out isn't because of the other person, it's because of what is inside.

-My ability to feel a certain way is determined by the condition of my heart. My ability to stay in love has as much to do with my heart as it does with who I'm with. Everything I do flows from my heart. My relationship is the overflow of my heart. If my heart isn't in good shape, I won't be able to maintain a healthy relationship.

-If I want to stay in love, I have to monitor my heart.

-In every relationship, at some point, there is a gap between what we expect and how a person behaves. In these gaps me choose to either believe the best or assume the worst. That decision makes all the difference.

-2 things determine what you put in that gap: what you see (situation) and who you are (experiences)

-Find the most generous explanation for each other's behavior, and then believe it.

-Love protects the integrity of the relationship. I won't look for negatives. I'm looking for a way to keep love alive.

-Every time you choose to think negatively, you have contributed to the demise of your relationship.

-The last thing your significant other wants to do is disappoint you. When you go negative, it communicates disappointment and says "no matter how hard you try, you will never measure up" Every time that is communicated, you push them further and further away.

-When you choose to believe the best and communicate that, it builds the relationship.

-I will use these gaps to bring you closer to me. Am I willing to place in that gap "I trust you" until there is absolutely no excuse, and then we will have to have a tough conversation. But when that conversation is over, the trust comes right back in the gap.

Get Out Of The Boat!

We all know the story of Jesus walking on water. There was a storm; Jesus walked on the water; freaked the disciples out because, I mean there's a man walking on the water; turns out it's Jesus. insert huge sigh of relief here; Jesus tells Peter to come walk on the water with Him. I'm sorry, say what?!; Peter walks on the water, starts doubting, and starts sinking; Jesus saves him.

I got a new perspective on this story this week. First of all, there was a huge storm going on yet Peter was willing to step out on the water. He knew, even in the middle of the storm, he was safer with Jesus than he was in the boat. Second of all, have you ever thought about that first step out of the boat? It's not like he was walking onto the water from something that was level and he could just step one foot out and test it. He was a good 2 or 3 feet above the water. There was no testing to make sure it would hold. He had to step completely onto the water and trust that Jesus was going to sustain him. Third of all, he didn't just immediately lose faith and then sink to the bottom. It was a slow process. He started sinking a little at a time. When he was focused on Jesus, knowing that He would keep him up, he was fine. He stood firm on that water! I imagine it was something simple that got Peter distracted. "Hmm... it sure is windy out here" or "Man, that's a big wave over there." This was not the first time Peter had noticed the wind or the waves, but it was the first time he noticed them while standing on water. Once he took his eyes of Jesus and allowed doubtful thoughts to creep in, he sank a little at a time. Isn't that how it is for us too? We are totally confident in the direction God is leading, until Satan plants one thought in our minds that leads to 12 more and before you know it you're sinking in doubt. Jesus didn't grab Peter as soon as he started sinking. He did, however, grab him as soon as he said, "Lord, help me." Amazing that that's all it takes for Jesus to come sweeping in and rescue us. When I am alone, I sink. When my eyes are on Jesus, I can walk on the water.

I believe if Jesus calls me to get out of the boat, He is going to be there to help me walk on the water. If I start to sink, which I sometimes do, He'll reach His hand down and He'll lift me up. God will give you everything You need to do everything He has called you to do. You are in His hands and in His will, and there is no better place to be. -Joyce Meyer

*told you. me+blogging=out of control right now.

Just What I Needed To Hear...

Welcome challenging times as opportunities to trust Me. You have Me beside you and My Spirit within you, so no set of circumstances is too much for you to handle. When the path before you is dotted with difficulties, beware of measuring your strength against those challenges. That calculation is certain to riddle you with anxiety. Without Me, you wouldn't make it past the first hurdle!

The way to walk through demanding days is to grip My hand tightly and stay in close communication with Me. Let your thoughts and spoken words be richly flavored with trust and thankfulness. Regardless of the day's problems, I can keep you in perfect peace as you stay close to Me.

-Jesus Calling

Esther

Yes, I realize I am a bit out of control right now with my blogging habits. Timmy is at camp and I only get a couple random texts a day and it is making me crazy! I am a little at a loss for someone to talk to, therefore I turn to you, my bloggy friends... who I could probably could on one hand. But that's not the point. The point is that I have started Beth Moore's newest study on Esther. I have heard such fabulous things about it... and have experienced none of these fabulous things in week 1. Now I am not saying anything bad about the Bible, don't get me wrong, but I feel like all it is about so far is history and I am having a hard time making anything applicable to my life. What I really need is to know if anyone has done it yet because I am really struggling to even make myself do it. Anyone? Bueller?

New Sister

This morning I woke up to a text from my precious Little Brittany that read as follows:

"I just wanted to tell you that last night I dedicated my life to Christ." That is the greatest thing that could have possibly started my day! Tears immediately came streaming down my face (of course). Brittany is at Summer Beach Project with Campus Outreach and is loving it! God is obviously doing wonderful things in her life already and I can't wait to see what the rest of the summer holds for her. I am so proud of her and so glad that she is not only my AGD sister and Little but also my sister in Christ. 

side note: I also find it very amusing that right after posting this I read something almost identical on Lindsey's blog. just another reason why we're soul mates.

Dear Swine Flu

It's hard to believe that a month ago I was blogging about my hatred of the swine flu, followed a few days later by reports of the cancellation of my trip. Now no one even gives the swine flu the time of day and considers it old news. I can't believe that I would have been returning from Mexico yesterday. It feels like it was a lifetime ago. Rather than be too sentimental, I have composed two different letters to the swine flu. *clears throat*

Dear Swine Flu,

  I hate your stinkin' guts. You make me vomit. You are the scum between my toes.

Love,

Caitlin

then I decided to stop being bitter.

Dear Swine Flu,

  Thank you for canceling my trip. Yes, that's right, I said "thank you". Bet you never thought I would say that. Well... I didn't either. Thank you for giving me this month to spend with Timmy. Two weeks would not have been sufficient time for building a whole relationship back that could withstand a month in Costa Rica and 414.39 (but who's counting?) miles between our schools. Thank you for giving me this wonderful time to be with him. Thank you for allowing me to do this Bible study with Mary and Kelly. It has been such a great thing for our relationships with each other and I am so thankful for them and the opportunity to do this study together. Thank you for allowing me to spend time with Coach, Jess, Kirkland, and Charlie. That is such valuable time to me that is too few and far between. Thank you for allowing me to go to Woodstock's graduation and the beach with the Tottens. Such a fabulous time with a fabulous group of people. Thank you for allowing me to go to the Hillsong concert for  possibly the best night of worship I have ever had. I'm sorry for all of the mean things I said about you. Though I will not extend friendship to you, please forgive me.

Sincerely,

Caitlin

God is so good dear friends, so good!

Rock & Reef Tour

Today began VBS at Noonday! For the first year in a long time, we're doing our own version of it for middle school. I know, I know, no middle schooler wants to go to VBS. But it is nothing like VBS at all. I can't remember what we're calling it exactly (but I'm pretty sure it signifies awesome), but it has much more of a camp feel to it, and the theme is Rock & Reef Tour, so it's not that childish VBS junk. None of that around here. (although I do miss 4B and the crafts and singing and motions and duck duck goose and...) As 5:45 got closer and we had no kids pre-registered, we really didn't know what was going to happen. What if we didn't have any kids at all? We were so pumped and ready, but what if they didn't show up? We all decided that if 1 kid showed up, we were going to love on that one kid (in the least awkward way possible). If 3 kids showed up, we were going to build some great relationships with those 3 kids. And if no kids showed up at all? We were going to still have worship, still praise our God who is still good even if no one shows up, and hit our knees. We were going to pray until something happened. And if that took 3 days then so be it. We ended up with 6 kids tonight, and I realize that isn't many. In fact, I got a little discouraged thinking about how many churches around us have these huge middle school ministries and wondered why we didn't. But the thing is, it's not about how many kids we have. Our success isn't measured on how many kids come. The biggest question is was God glorified? Did we do what He asked us to do? Are we serving and obeying Him? And most of all, is He why we're doing this? If we can say "yes" to all of these, then we have been successful. With those kids, we had more fun than I think I have ever had in the walls of Noonday Baptist Church. And I hav been there for 20 years. We laughed until we cried, we danced, we sang, we made a train, we talked, and we praised Him with every step. We experienced joy the way it is supposed to be experienced. We were totally and completely undignified before God, and loved it.

Please pray for the rest of the week. Pray that we grow if it is God's will, but that we build relationships that last with these kids. Pray that the leaders can keep this level of enthusiasm we had tonight. Pray that God moves like we have never seen before, no matter how many people are in the room. He is doing a marvelous work!

Also, Timmy leaves with FBCW tomorrow (or in 4 hours actually) for their middle and high school camp. Pray that God uses the leaders, gives them strength and patience after many sleepless nights, and does a mighty work in these students' lives.

My Inheritance

There is a song on the new Travis Cottrell CD called My Inheritance. Marcus put it on our CD for our beach trip and I immediately fell in love with it. Today the CD came out and Tammy bought it for me and I am obsessed with it! I started thinking about the word inheritance on my way home tonight. The song says: "I will dance, I will sing, Jesus, You're my everything. You're my treasure, my inheritance. I am rich, I am blessed, in Your love and faithfulness. You're my treasure and forever You are my inheritance."

inheritance: property passing at the owner's death to the heir or those entitled to succeed.

When Jesus died, He made us his successors, those entitled to everything that He owns. And the things that He owns are far more important than those of this earth: joy, peace, life, eternity, happiness, contentment, friendship, love. The definition says "those entitled". The thing is, we aren't anywhere near entitled to anything that He could possibly give us. Day after day we turn against Him and hurt Him. I don't deserve anything that He could give me, but He gives willingly. Without His inheritance, I have nothing. It's amazing that He could look beyond my faults and transgressions and give me a full and eternal life.

Remember that time we went to the beach? That was fun.

I seriously just had the best weekend I can ever remember. Friday Timmy and I decided to go on an adventure. We ended up going to Atlantic Station to spend the evening. We walked around for a bit, went to California Pizza Kitchen, and Coldstone and then came back to my house and had a little fun with this photobooth business. This mac is loads of fun, and we just could not stop laughing. 

Saturday started bright and early with Kati's graduation at 9. It was such a sweet ceremony. That afternoon, Tammy and I spent some great time at the pool chatting and working on our tan. I am so thankful for times like these, such precious moments.

Sunday morning, bright and early, we left for Savannah! (we meaning Timmy's family, Marcus, and I) We made it down there around lunch time, grabbed some pizza, and headed to Tybee Island for the day. It was such a beautiful day and we had so much fun sitting at the edge of the ocean chatting. And I even got in for a bit. The things I do to be with that boy. ;) We went out to eat that night and just hung out and watched a movie. This morning we got up bright and early (again) and headed back to the beach! Timmy and I took a couple really long walks (Hi, my name is Caitlin and I enjoy long walks on the beach) and we all played in the ocean for a while and before we knew it, it was time to leave. Sad day. The car ride back was quite possibly one of my favorite parts of the trip. What started with "what's your all time favorite movie?" somehow (and by somehow I mean because of Timmy) progressed into "who has made the biggest impact on your life and why?" and was a great time of laughter and conversation. I don't think I have ever laughed as much as I do when I am with these people. I am truly so blessed. I didn't even want to come home tonight. Life seriously doesn't get much better than this, my friends.

Sending Off My Young

Both of my Littles have left to embark on their journeys for the summer. Sara will be in Swaziland and Brittany will be on Summer Beach Project with Campus Outreach. Two months is a very long time for both of them to be gone, but I couldn't possibly be more excited for them. This is going to be such an amazing experience and I am so proud of them for stepping out in faith like this. I ask that you join me in praying for them, especially these first few days. Sara and Brittany, I love you both so much. I feel privileged to be able to be with you in spirit, even if I can't be there in person.

I Am Yours

Last night I got the awesome opportunity to see Hillsong in concert. It was absolutely amazing! The best part was it never actually felt like a concert; it felt like worship. God really showed up and made Himself known. While we were waiting for the concert to start, I started thinking about all of the people that work there. We have no idea where their hearts are or what they believe. Whether they are a Christian or want nothing to do with Christianity or God at all, we made a statement last night. At first it may have seemed like we all just came to hear some people sing, but as they started playing, it was clear that it wasn't about the people playing; it was about singing praise to our mighty and matchless Creator. It was so wonderful to be surrounded by so many people who share my beliefs, share my love, and share my heart. In case you didn't know, I am a very passionate person. I give my all for whatever I believe in and whatever I love. I also love music and I love to sing. When music comes on, I can't sit still, even if it's just tapping my foot. That being said, I am not a very still worshipper, if you will. I don't care what anyone else says, there is something about singing to God that genuinely consumes me, and I love that.

There have been many moment in my life where I have suddenly had a revelation, if you will, about a seemingly elementary principle. This night was one of them. I suddenly truly grasped who I am in Christ. For a long time now, I have felt totally and completely secure in who I am and who He made me to be, but I think I really got it. First of all, I am a friend of God. What is a friend exactly? My friends mean the world to me. I love every second I spend with them and cherish every moment. It amazes me that God would feel that way about me. Not only does He want me to want to spend time with Him, but He also wants to spend time with me. This has never been a one sided relationship. He really wants my friendship. Second of all, I am a conqueror. When someone says that something was conquered, what does it bring to mind? Complete obliteration. Destruction. Overpowering. Through Him, I am a conqueror of sin. He has bestowed upon me the power to completely obliterate, destroy, and overpower sin in my life. But most importantly, I am His. Totally, completely, undoubtedly His, and nothing can ever take that away. I pray that I never get over that fact.

"we aren't afraid, we aren't ashamed, Lord we know who we are. we are Your people and we won't be silent! unified, hear us cry at the top of our lungs, You are our God and we won't be shaken! Jesus, Savior, in my life You are everything. my future decided, I will praise Your name. I know that I am Yours!"