Turns out I fail at the 30 Day Blog Challenge... but for good reason.
This is going to be pretty long (mostly because I never want to forget any of it), so sit down and stay for a while.
About 3 years ago, God really started to put dating on my heart. I wasn't sure what that meant for a long time, but God began to show me that He wanted to redefine dating for me. I started to see that "dating" by definition was not something I really wanted. I decided to stay away from it until I knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that God was telling me I was going to marry this man and I was ready for true commitment.
I read every book there was and prayed scripture over my future relationship constantly and listened to every sermon. I was obsessed. I wanted to know how to be the kind of wife my man would need me to be. I was finally content with where I was in life. Sure, there were days that were hard. There were days that I would pray for that man and be mad at him for not being here. There were days when I would realize exactly how strange I am and wonder if anyone would ever love me for that. And there were so many days when I felt like God was just telling me to pray for him and I had no idea why and felt like a crazy lady. But I did it.
I mostly struggled with people telling me my expectations were too high. They told me that no man my age was capable of living up to such high expectations so I needed to be ok with waiting for a long longer. I was ok with waiting, butI didn't agree. Toward the beginning of the year I really began to feel like God was preparing me to be with this man, whoever he was. I was so emotionally invested in that relationship without even knowing who he was that I knew I would love him almost immediately and things would happen pretty fast, Lord willing. I always joked about the one year plan: meet, get engaged, and get married in a year. Why wait?
On April 26, 2010, the man I had been praying for walked into my life on the most unlikely day. I knew that day that he was the one I was going to marry. I got in my car and actually cried (don't act too surprised) because I thought I was crazy. And I didn't tell anyone. I was leaving for Panama in 4 days and wanted to just run away. So I did.
But Cosbie pursued me. I was pretty out of practice with the whole relationship thing, so I made it difficult sometimes. It took him forever to get my phone number from me... and I may or may not have been a bit of a smart alec about it... ;) but I eventually admitted to him and myself that I didn't want to go another day without him in my life.
Most of you know that he travels a lot. I have been totally fine about it until a few weeks ago. All of a sudden it got really hard to be away from him for so long. There were days when I wanted nothing more than for him to have a normal job so that I could spend weekends with my boyfriend just like every other girl. I just wanted to be normal. So I know I made being gone much harder on him too. I asked for one weekend this month- I needed some time with him where it could just be "us time" and we wouldn't be running all over the place- and we decided on this past weekend. I had been wanting to go to Brunswick since baby Philip was born, so we decided to spent said weekend in Brunswick with Coach and Jessica. I went down on Thursday and Cosbie came on Friday. Friday night we were supposed to go to Coach's football game, but Cosbie wanted to go to dinner before on St. Simon's. Of course I thought a real date was a great idea! Before we went to dinner, he suggested we go to Epworth. St. Simon's is a very special place for us and Epworth is a very special place to me. I have spent the most challenging and life changing weeks of my summer working camp there and it is most definitely my favorite place on the island, maybe even the world. We sat on a bench down by the water and talked for a long time, which was nice because, let's be honest, we never just stop and slow down and just spend time together like that. It was exactly what I needed. He was being so sweet (not that he's not always sweet, but extra sweet) and I thought it was just because he knew I needed a little reassuring after that long California with a 3 hr time difference trip. We talked about the first time we were there together (camp), the second time (vacation with my family), and this time and how much things have changed. Next thing I know, he's on his knee in front of me, asking me to be his wife.
To say I was shocked would be an understatement. I think in the back of my mind I had thought about how perfect this weekend would have been, but I have been so careful to guard my heart against wishful thinking and just focusing on being content that I wouldn't really let myself entertain those thoughts. Those words were the sweetest words anyone has ever said to me. I don't just want to marry him, I want to be his wife. I want to be the one who goes through life beside him, even when it gets tough. Getting married is an event. Being a wife is forever.
Of course I said yes (about a dozen times) and a few minutes later I realized that this girl was taking our picture. I am so thankful to have every moment captured. (both of these are from Rebecca Scarbrough Photography)
here is the link to the rest
(seems self explanatory, but in case it's not, click on Cosbie & Cait)
and this is my stinkin awesome ring
After we had all of our pictures done and I kinda began to breathe normally again, Cosbie prayed for us and our future and the future of our marriage and our family. I am so thankful for a man who will pray with me and for me and understands the importance of praying together, for our marriage, and for our future. Then he gave me a new Bible with my future last name on it and it's a Spanish- English Bible just like the one I have now and love so much. It is the most precious gift I have ever been given. (I mean, don't get me wrong, I love my ring too of course ;) )
We had an absolutely wonderful dinner on the island and a perfect night. We never made it to the football game because little Philip decided he was not a fan of the band, but spending the rest of the night talking with Jessica was just perfect, even if she had been such a little liar for the past few weeks. ;)
I am beyond excited, so blessed, and totally in awe of the Lord's faithfulness. Cosbie is everything I ever prayed for and so much more I didn't even know I needed. He exceeds every single high expectation I ever had. Together we can accomplish so much more for the Kingdom than we ever could on our own. I am so amazed at the ways that the Lord brought us together and worked in our hearts to bring us to this place and cannot wait to see what He has in store for the future.
I can't wait to become Mrs. Cosbie Hollenbeck and spend every day of the rest of my life with this man that I love so much.