We Don't Need No Money, Salvation Is Free!

Here it is, friends. The blogging goodness you have all been waiting for. Ok, maybe just Linds. After the first day of training, I wrote 6 pages in my prayer journal that night. It was then that I realized that there was no way I could keep up that kind of pace for 2 weeks and started keeping my journal on my computer. So consider yourselves lucky, because you are about to get a very in depth look at my heart and what God has been doing over the past 2 weeks. Yes, it will be very long, but for those of you who do care and like detail, it's all there. Well, I may have used a little discretion and kept some things to myself, but for the most part. So here goes week 1, starting on June 27th. (please note that it is all very random paragraphs and possibly not in correct chronological order, but it's my journal so deal with it)

Training just began and I am already so overwhelmed. There are so many huddle leaders! Last year we had about 20, this year we have 50. That's a lot of people and I only know 5 of them. Of course there are people here who don't know anyone, so it could be worse. I am definitely a close knit small group kind of person, so I hate to say I'm already looking forward to that part of week 2. I will say that it has been incredibly awesome to be back with my sweet friend Lindsey Locke. She is so dear to my heart and I'm so glad we have these next 2 weeks together! I can't wait to see what God is going to do!

Stuart Hall was our speaker and definitely brought the Word from the very first night. He talked about how many Christians stay in their little comfort zone and never do anything that might be a little more difficult in life. Take Jonah for example. We all know the story: God says "go to Ninevah and tell them that everything they're doing is bad". Jonah says, "no" and takes off to Tarshish, which was 2500 miles away. God found him (He's good like that). A whale ate him. He finally went to Ninevah. We criticize Jonah for not going, but we do the same thing. When God tells me to do something hard, I run the other way because I think that my plan is better and don't want to miss out on the great things that I have planned for myself. I show that I don't trust Him. I show that I don't believe that His way is better. I can run from God, but I can't outrun Him, and it's only going to get worse. Trusting Him means doing what He says no matter what, because I literally can't go on if I don't. If I try something hard and am successful, the glory can only be God's. Why would I not want to be a part of something that can bring Him that much glory?

Different groups went on a prayer walk every night, and I really didn’t want to go because I felt like it would cut into our huddle time, but God really took those feelings away quickly! He totally changed my group and changed my prayer life. In those moments, I felt God closer than I ever have before. Lindsey and I were able to pray for our girls’ schools, for their walk with Christ, for their purity, for their future husbands, and for their self esteem. Praying out loud doesn’t bother me at all, but the way I began praying when we were on our walk was different.  I wasn’t timidly asking God to do something, I was fervently begging Him, knowing that He can do it! I really learned to be more confident in my prayers. I felt like He was standing there, giving me the words to say and telling me what to pray for these girls. And my girls really stepped it up too. They took the lead without even being asked and I am so thankful that they were able to experience God in the stillness of the woods like that. It brought us closer as a group and brought Linds and I closer. I feel like it really changed my prayer life dramatically.

 

Worship every night was incredible! I am a very passionate person anyways and I hate feeling confined or like I am being told how to worship. I don’t like to be still. I like to do whatever I want. I am passionate about Jesus and I don’t care who knows, and in those services, none of it mattered. You could stand up and jump on the chair if you wanted (which I did not want) and no one would care. It’s so rare and so incredible to be in that kind of environment. Some of my girls had never even experienced corporate worship like that before and were a little thrown off by all of our energy and jumping around and raising our hands and probably thought I was weird for a little bit, but by the end of the week they were loving it! When we sang Hosanna and we got to the part where it says “we’re on our knees”, they stopped for a minute and we all literally got on our knees. It’s so humbling to just stop and be face first in front of God in total awe of what He is doing. I love being in an environment without judgment, where I can sing and dance if I want and worship just as I please and I’m so glad my girls got to experience that too. The band was called “Hello August” and they were an incredible group of people. They were there for both weeks so we really got to know them well. They hung out with us all the time and prayed with us and were just awesome. The best thing was how Natalie (lead singer) always tied scripture into what she was singing about and really showed us her heart and what God was telling her. She was so genuine and transparent with us and it allowed us to be the same way with her.

If you want to know about the girls from week 1- huddle 16!-I will send it to you, but I would hate to have said something that would offend someone and one of them come across it on here off of my facebook or something. They were awesome though and it was so sad to see them leave! I was ridiculous to even worry that they would be anything less than awesome.

One day after dinner we were all sitting around a picnic table outside and saw a wedding. I am basically obsessed with Epworth by the Sea and kinda sorta really want to get married there one day. It was the sweetest little ceremony. Of course it led me to think about my wedding day and it was also the day we were talking about purity so I had really been praying about it a lot that day. I am so thankful that, when I am in her shoes, I will be able to say that I have kept my purity intact for my husband and what a glorious day that will be. It also opened a lot of doors for me to talk to the girls that night. It was such a beautiful thing and I can still see it so vividly in my mind. My mom says we can’t afford a “destination wedding”, but I hardly deem St. Simon’s as grounds to be classified as such.

Friday afternoon we all went out to eat together and then the people who weren’t staying for week 2 left. I must admit that I struggled to get to know people the first week because there were 50 huddle leaders. I don’t deal well with large groups like that. I am very much a small group of intimate relationships kind of person, so I was ready for week 2 where we would go from 500 kids and 50 leaders to 170 kids and 18 leaders. We were all so exhausted and just needed to rest, so they gave us the whole day to basically do whatever we wanted. Jessica came and picked me up and I spent the afternoon with her and her sweet boys. I needed that so much. It’s hard to be confined to such a small campus for so long. I was emotionally, physically, and spiritually worn out and needed to have some time with someone like her who just pours into me, encourages me, and rejuvenates me. Not to mention she let me use her shower. Oh man, I hadn’t felt that clean in over a week. I only got to spend a couple hours with her, but it made the world of a difference. When I got back to camp, we all went out to eat for Meg’s birthday. We ended up staying at the restaurant until almost 11:00 just talking and laughing. It was so rejuvenating to be with these people and build these relationships without having to worry about our kids and what they were doing. When we got back, Cissie, Lindsey, and I went into one of the buildings to get our stuff and move into a new cabin. We were greeted by giant cockroaches. Needless to say, I freaked out, but Lindsey and Cissie just started throwing tennis shoes at them. We say it was our first bonding moment that solidified our friendship between the 3 of us. I have never screamed and laughed so much before and we met a whole new side of Cissie. Ya know when you laugh so much that you get that feeling like there’s stuff in your throat? Sav and I call it “flim”. Well we definitely had a bad case of the flim, only it wasn’t gone the next morning. So began the sickness which came to be known as R12209, but more on that later.

So concludes week 1.

Huddle 16: Reesa, Lauren, Alexis, Karis, Kristen, Jessica, Sarah Beth, Elizabeth, and Kalli- you guys were amazing. I could not have asked for a better group. Thanks for thinking I'm actually kinda cool and loving to hang out with me. Don't forget that you are remarkably and wonderfully made, perfect and beautiful. I love you girls!