Tuesday, May 26, 2009

I'm Not A Fan

Most of you who are on Facebook have noticed that you can become a fan of pretty much anything in the entire world... and if you haven't noticed then I think it's time for you to emerge from under your rock and join the rest of the world. Welcome to Earth. Yeah, that's for you, Linds. You can now become a fan of...

-silly string: who doesn't love squirting nasty, colorful, sticky stuff on others and oftentimes forever damaging their clothing
-Jesus, God, and the Bible: while you can become a fan of them each separately, I feel like it's ok to group them as one for blogging purposes. Though I am a fan of all 3 of these, why is it necessary for me to inform all of the world of Facebook by clicking the "become a fan" link? Should my life not be enough to show that I am, indeed, a fan? Because I am. Also, what if I want to become a fan of the Holy Spirit? Why isn't that an option.
-not having the swine flu: Seriously? Now I do not personally have a relationship with anyone who has contracted swine flu, however I am pretty sure that none of them have stated that they enjoy the swine flu. I am also sure that I am just not a fan of swine flu in general, especially after it cancelled my trip and threatened to cancel my September trip. No swine flu, I am not a fan of you and will boycott your very existence by refusing to become a fan of not having you.
-Georgia Bulldogs: while I am a fan, what is clicking the "become a fan" link going to do for me? How will that benefit me any more than stating in my profile that I enjoy the Dawgs. Either way, Glory Glory to ole Georgia....
-Beth Moore: I cannot lie, I did actually become a fan. In my defense 1- at least I was honest and 2- I really just hoped to get the inside scoop on any upcoming studies or perhaps speaking engagements.
-Kris Allen: within 24 hours of become America's next idol, he had his own "fan" page and 200 of my friends were fans. Ok, so maybe that is a bit dramatic, but a lot of them were and 200 makes me sound like I really just have a lot of friends and brings the point home a little more
-cookie dough: Once again, I do enjoy a spoonful of the pre-cookie substance from time to time, but why do I need to be a fan? Do all of my Facebook friends really sit and ponder, "Hmm... I wonder if Caitlin likes cookie dough? Man I am so glad that she became a fan of it so that I can finally sleep tonight!" And is cookie dough going to personally send you a message? Don't hold your breath.
-flipping the pillow over to get to the cold side: I have never in my life participated in this activity, however it seems to be quite a wonderful past time for many of my friends. Maybe I should join the crowd. Perhaps it really is such a wonderful thing that I will feel the need to become a fan... but that's doubtful.
-and last but not least, my favorite, drinking around the bonfire: thanks for telling me about it Linds, because I love nothing more than sipping a beverage while sitting in a camping chair around a huge flame. (in case you don't know me at all, this is a false statement) With becoming a fan of drinking around the bonfire should come becoming a fan of a hangover. I have no experience in the area at all, however I somehow don't think that would be a very successful fan page. Shouldn't have participated in said activity #1, stupid kids. (yes, I'm 80 years old)

Things I am a fan of:
-Beth Moore: as stated above, and because she introduced "my own man, my very own man!" into my vocabulary and I just love her for that.
-Jon and Kate plus 8: with all of this drama going on, I need the inside scoop. I mean I am obsessed with Asian babies and they do have 8 of them.
-Relient K and Bethany Dillon: 2 of my top 10 favorite artists. I have to know when new songs and albums are coming out. duh.
-To Write Love on Her Arms and Invisible Children: because one day I will make it to an event, but I intend to support them until then. and after.
-Express: my butt looks awesome in their jeans but they are expensive. being a fan gives me coupons. huge benefit to my life. and makes my butt look great. (that's for you Sarah)
-Alpha Gamma Delta: this was the first thing I ever became a fan of, mostly because one of the older sisters sent some request about it to me and I was still a baby squirrel who just thought that was awesome. and the craze hadn't started.

Though I have given a few things my loyalty as a legit Facebook fan, I feel that this is getting a little out of hand. I do, however, enjoy texting funny "fan possibilities" to and getting them from Linds. It's rather entertaining.


  1. 1. I know this is all just a joke (but actually for real), but you're a really good writer & I don't think you realize that.
    2. I am ok with you being a fan of all of these things, except for J&K+8. Yes, I know the lingo. Why? Because EVERYone (except for Case & I) had a status about it yesterday. I just don't understand this strange love.
    3. I now feel compelled to defend my own fan pages. They are as follows:
    -Ashley Tuten Photography - how can you not become a fan when a friend asks you & she created the page herself (this rule excluedes really stupid friends...you can ignore them).
    -Karen Kingsbury - need I say more?
    -Mocha Club - 4 words: Africa, Dave, kids, music.
    -Alpha Gamma Delta - this came about at the beginning of time. That is, before "fanning" became obnoxious. So it was ok. Because, yes, I am legitimately :) a fan of Alpha Gamma Delta.
    -Mulberry Toys - I kind of created this one so I should probably be a fan. Plus it was at work & I was told to so...I basically got paid to be a fan.

    Longest comment ever.
    The end.

  2. this cracks me all kinds of up!

    what about becoming a fan of showering?