As I've said before, I'm supposed to be in Mexico right now. While I am still really disappointed with the way things turned out, I am thankful that I am here to hang out with my friends and spend time with Timmy. Even though I know this is where God needs me to be right now, I have still been fighting a lot of discouragement. It's been really difficult to watch a lot of my friends prepare to go to Kenya, Swaziland, Russia, Costa Rica, and Haiti and know that I can't go with them. It's been over 2 years since I've been out of the country and that just feels weird.
I have been focusing on my prayer life a lot lately. I have been feeling really convicted about how much time I spend communicating with my friends and family and not near as much time in communication with my Creator. I have really enjoyed this time as God teaches me more and more about talking to Him and treating our relationship as if He really is my best friend. My heart for my friends and their trips is rapidly growing as I pray for their travels as well as their finances, and it's so amazing to see God show just how faithful He is. Still, there was a twinge of jealousy that they were getting to go and I wasn't.
Wednesday night Kaitlyn was telling me about her trip to Kenya this summer and how she had almost half of her money and I am genuinely excited for her. I am so excited for this opportunity for her and am so proud of her and have been praying for her since I found out she was going a few weeks ago. While the students were doing an activity where they prayed for each other, I started thinking about all that God has taught me through this time, and realized that even though I am not able to go anywhere right now, I still have a very important job here. As a friend, it is my job to continually lift these precious friends up in prayer as they prepare for their trips and when they are on their trips. They need more than financial support, they need spiritual support. Maybe I just felt like I needed to find my purpose for being here, but I really feel like I can be content with being here for the time being and use this time to build relationships, get more invovled with the youth group, and serve wherever God leads. It's nice to feel like I understand a little bit of why God would leave me here for the summer.
As I was reading this, you kept saying the things I was thinking. God might have "left" you here for the summer...but most likely because he needs you here. Instead of just going to Mexico & focusing on what you would be doing here, now He's allowing you to go to Kenya, Swaziland, Russia, Costa, Rica, AND Haiti. Because you're not in Mexico, you CAN be in all of these places just by doing what He's called us to do & uniting with other believers & supporting them. They each take a bit of you in their hearts because you've impacted all of their lives. You are going somewhere this summer...just not where you thought. I know you know all of this, but it can't hurt to hear it again. :)
ReplyDeleteOk, what Linds said just made me cry. I guarantee you will be in Swaziland this summer... in my heart.
ReplyDelete