Even though I've read every book there is about marriage and prayed for the man I would marry for so long, I'm seeing that I am far from being the perfect wife. I have a lot of work left to do, but am so thankful for a man who is so patient with me.
One of my friends who got married last fall sent me some verses that have helped her. I'm trying to memorize them and be able to quickly recall them when I need them the most. This week for me was all about learning to be a suitable helper. (Genesis 2:18) I didn't really know what that meant. How do I be Cosbie's suitable helper? There are moments when I remind myself of this and still can't stop being a brat (just being honest, even if I wish it wasn't true). I don't always know what to do, but I am learning what not to do. A suitable helper puts her man first, always. She compromises. She doesn't get upset when things don't go her way. She willingly helps him with whatever he needs. She can take care of herself and their house when he is gone. Some days, I can do that. And some days I struggle. Some days I just want to be heard and I am selfish. Some days I feel myself reverting back to the independent girl I had to be for so many years. But when I remind myself of who I am supposed to be and remember what the Bible says about a quarrelsome wife (Proverbs 25:24 & 27:15), I know I don't want to be her and I know I never want to be a burden like that to Cosbie. I want to let him lead me (Ephesians 5:22-23) and I want to follow his lead (Ruth 1:16-17). I want to put him first (Philippians 2:1-5). I want to be as close to perfect as I can be for him.
Marriage isn't always going to be easy. Some days will require more work than others. Some situations will test us more than others. I'm so thankful that we both live for more than each other. Thankful that we serve a God who won't leave us in the dark. Thankful for His Word that provides guidance and brings conviction. We're going to have to work at this, but there is no one else in the world that I would fight harder for. No one else that I want to stand beside. The best part is that even if we don't get it completely right at first, we have the rest of our lives to work at it.