I go to 3 churches: Noonday, Browns Bridge, & Passion City. Each is it's own experience & plays a different role in my life. Between the 3 of them, I feel like someone is always doing communion. In fact, I've taken communion 3 times in the past 2 weeks. I really hate to admit it, but I found myself kinda going through the motions about it. It's not because I am not thankful for what Jesus did for me- I am thankful every single day. It's not because I don't understand the importance & reverence of what we're doing- I really feel so humbled by it. But in its regularity, I became numb to it. I tried to force my heart & mind to be in a place that they just weren't. I have been so frustrated & really praying for God to renew the importance & meaning of communion in my life.
Yesterday (which, at the point of posting this, is actually now 10 days ago) I had 2 chances to take communion: Noonday & Passion City. I think I struggled most at Noonday because everything about it is so routine. After 21 years, I almost feel like I could give communion with the best of the deacons. I was sitting there earnestly & honestly praying & doing everything I should but I still felt empty. I honestly wasn't really looking forward to having communion again at Passion City. (and with how honest I have been about said situation, I am surprised any of you are still reading this, or, if you are, haven't revoked my salvation. but stick with me.) Louie Giglio started the whole entrance into communion & really put it into a brand new perspective for me. For the first time, I put myself in the shoes of the disciples. They were in a world without a Savior. A world that was constantly, anxiously, prayerfully waiting for the Messiah. The Passover was a time of remembrance. They were remembering the night that the angel of death passed over & spared them their firstborn while taking that of those who didn't have the lamb's pure blood over the door. A night full of tragedy for so many people. This was a time of remembering what God did for them & also of reflecting on their constant need of a Savior. They were in the most extreme period of waiting that the world has ever experienced. I imagine they were begging for a Savior at this point. Enter: Jesus. At the last supper, on Passover. I know that none of the following is theologically correct, but it's just my interpretation & imagination. Jesus had basically already told the disciples that He was the Son of God, but I don't think they really got it until that moment. I imagine the disciples sitting there in utter shock at what Jesus had said: "This is my body... my blood... do this in remembrance of me." All of the sudden the remembering on that day went from remembering Passover to remembering Jesus. There's no way the disciples could have understood, in that moment, the magnitude of what they would be remembering. Nine verses later, Jesus has prayed so intently that He is sweating blood & has been betrayed. Nine verses later, everything changed.
Sitting in that chair at the Tabernacle in Atlanta it hit me. I wasn't remembering. I was thinking about what Jesus did for me & I was so incredibly grateful, but I wasn't remembering Him the way that He commanded us to remember Him. I was remembering what He did for me, but not what I did to Him. I finally got it. My prayers were answered, & I was incredible humbled. I couldn't believe how many times I had forgotten. All He asks is that I remember, & I forgot.
I am so thankful to serve a God who sent a Savior & who meets me where I am & reveals things to me in new & amazing ways each day, even things I should have grasped a long time ago.
He became sin,
Who knew no sin,
That we might become,
His righteousness,
He humbled Himself,
& carried the cross,
Love so amazing,
Jesus, Messiah,
Name above all names,
Blessed Redeemer,
Emmanuel,
The rescue for sinners,
The ransom from heaven,
Jesus, Messiah,
Lord of all,
His body the bread,
His blood the wine,
Broken & poured out,
All for love,
The whole earth trembled,
& the veil was torn,
Love so amazing
-Jesus Messiah, Chris Tomlin
"Broken and poured out... All for love."
ReplyDeleteYeah, that's it isn't it? It's really cool to me that He knows we'll forget. He knows we'll get distracted. He knows we'll get sidetracked... So He told us, and He tells us... to remember.