What does it mean to live love? John 13:35 says that all men will know we are God's disciples by the way we love one another. What does it mean to love someone? Love is an action. Love is a choice. Love is not always easy. We are called to a lifestyle of love. When it comes to my friends and family, this is not difficult for me. Savannah and I often joke about how frequently we tell people we love them. It almost feels awkward to leave someone or hang up the phone without telling that person I love them. I am a very loving person. I love wholeheartedly. It's all or nothing. I'm either all in or not at all. To some, that could be a bad thing. I know how to guard my heart when it is needed, but I still know how to love at the same time.
I used to really struggle with loving people who I wasn't so much friends with. Someone once told me to pray for a girl who I was having differences with, and I thought she was crazy at first. But one day something in my heart changed, and I have been doing it ever since. I feel like this is one of the many ways that God has called me to love: to love the people who hurt me the most. To pray for them until there isn't a single sliver of bitterness about the situation left in my heart. To be able to be so committed to God's will that I can say that I don't harbor negative thoughts because I choose to love my brothers and sisters in Christ in the way that I have been commanded; in a way that causes people to wonder how it's even possible; in a way that always only points to God, because I could never do it on my own. It's hard, but I, we, are not called to live an easy life. We are called to a higher standard. To try hard things. I want to be a part of something that could bring God that much glory, even if it means a little bit of difficulty for me. I want people to see something different in me.
Linds is reading Blue Like Jazz, and reminded me of this quote: "Sometimes you have to watch somebody love something before you can love it yourself. It is as if they are showing you the way." I want people to see the way that I love the Lord and be shown the way. Now, I don't think highly enough of myself to think that I am just going to lead the multitudes to Christ, but I want people to see Jesus in me, not me at all. I want them to see the joy and the happiness that He has to offer. I want them to see what He has done in my life and want to experience it too. I want to be used to love like He loves. I want them to watch me love God so passionately and desperately that they automatically fall in love with Him too, and then give Him all the glory.