Saturday, August 22, 2009

You Are Ever Faithful To Us God

Wednesday was a really rough day for me. It started bright and early when that alarm went off at 6:30... and I didn't fall asleep until 2:30 the night before. Not a good combination. It was our first day of orientation for the education program, and I was really excited. Three hours later, I was totally freaking out. I was on information overload and was tired of hearing about more and more assignments and portfolios and lesson plans that I was going to have to do. It felt like everyone just kept warning us that this would be the hardest year of our life. This isn't quite what I thought I was signing up for. Classes that afternoon didn't make anything better at all, especially that 12 page case study I got assigned. By the time I got out of class at 4:30, I was exhausted and on the verge of tears. It was turning out to be a really bad start to the first part of my second half of college.

I am going to have to make some major decisions about when I am going to take these classes and graduate. Basically I have 3 options: take classes this summer and graduate in May 2011, take classes next summer and graduate in August 2011, or take no summer classes and graduate in December 2011. Taking summer classes means being in this country, which I am not a fan of, and not working camp, which I am also not a fan of. My summers are for mission trips and FCA camp, not taking classes. I also have a minor in Spanish I still want to finish. I am only 6 hours away for being done and was supposed to take those classes in Mexico this past summer, but now I'm not sure what to do. There is still talk of a study abroad trip this summer, but it's looking like that area of Mexico isn't in very good shape and we will have to go to Costa Rica, Argentine, or Ecuador. I mean I'll pretty much go anywhere, but I'm just not sure about those places. And where will I go to get my master's when I graduate? I need to start looking into scholarships so I can see if I can get enough money to leave the state. So much to decide.

All of this was rushing through my head and causing it to spin and also causing my eyes to well up with tears as I drove to pick up Savannah that afternoon. As I pulled out onto the road, I saw this in front of me.
I couldn't tell you the last time I had seen a rainbow, much less one so vividly. I wish that a picture could actually capture what it really looked like. It was absolutely beautiful. And the tears just started coming as I sat in the parking lot outside Sav's apartment. I am so thankful for a God who is so incredibly faithful, day after day. I am so thankful that He chose to show me this rainbow and remind me of His incredible faithfulness at the exact moment that I needed it. This song was also playing as I drove. They just go so perfectly together.

Faithful, You are ever faithful
You are ever faithful to us God
Powerful, You are crowned all powerful
All the world will bow before You
Oh, God
You're the song of our soul's salvation
Life that cannot be taken
Solid rock, firm foundation
Never changed
You are never shaken
-Faithful, Steve Fee

I still don't feel really great about the program, but I know if others did it, I can too. I don't know what I'm going to do about taking classes, and I don't know how I'm going to finish my minor. A huge part of my heart is already in whatever country God chooses to call me to and in leading that children's ministry. I don't know what to do about any of that, but I'm ok with it. I don't know what's coming, but I know the One who holds tomorrow, and He has proved His faithfulness over and over again, and He isn't going to stop now.

1 comment:

  1. oh girl..i can see why you would be stressed!! I want to encourage you to live in the moment..dont' worry and stress about tomorrow...lean on God to get u through...I'm learning to Be still and Know that He is God..I often have to ask for Him to help me be still..!
    please know im praying for u!
    love ya!