Until Every Heart Has Heard: What Had Happened Was...

Tibia plateau non-displaced fracture.

aka, my arch nemesis.

allow me to explain.

Last weekend was rush weekend here at NGCSU. I was pumped to be a pi chi! I had an amazing group of girls as well as some amazing girls from other sororities I worked with. It was a hard weekend, but I loved it. As I mentioned before, I was disassociated from Alpha Gam since Thanksgiving. It wasn't really that hard until we got back from Christmas break. By the time rush came, I was SO ready to be back with my sisters!

It's tradition that all of the new girls in the sororities run down the hill onto the drill field. The pi chis run first and are reunited with their sisters before the new girls come. This year we changed the side of the hill we run down for some reason. Turns out that was a bad idea.

As we were running down the hill and goofing off, a couple of us fell. Seemed like no big deal because we were just having fun, but then I couldn't get up. Still, no big deal. I must have just twisted my knee a little and I could shake it off. Not so much. My sweet friend Bekah picked me up off the ground to get my out of the way. I soon realized that I couldn't put any weight on my left leg at all. That's when the tears came. I ended up being carried off the drill field. Most girls would love this. I, however, hate being the center of attention. Not to mention my low rise pants. Enough said.

I am thankful that one of my sisters works at the hospital in Gainesville and got us straight back to the x ray area. 1 xray, 1 CT scan, and 5 hours of sitting and waiting later, we finally found out my leg was broken. When they put the knee immobilizer on, I just freaked out. Which pretty much lasted all the way out of the hospital and most of the way home. When my dad went in to buy my crutches, I had a moment of anger with Linds and with God. I was missing bid day. I was missing the new girls' first moments in Alpha Gam. I was making Lindsey miss her last bid day. I don't have time for this. I have 21 hours of classes. I have to teach. I have Alpha Gam responsibilities. I have to drive. I have a life to live. Caitlin Moss does not break her leg. All these feelings on top of immense pain and intense Loritab= bad combination. Linds prayed with me while my dad was in CVS, and by the time he came back, I was calming down. He even let me go to the end of bid day. Unfortunately, that Loritab kicked in as we were sitting downstairs in Owen and I suddenly felt extremely sick. I stumbled to the elevator and ended up being carried to the bathroom by Bekah and Lindsey. As soon as I got to cool air, I was fine. So weird. I swore off of the Loritab right then and decided I could deal with tylenol and a little bit of pain over being sick.

My mom came up the next morning to stay with me and Rachel came that afternoon. I am so overwhelmed by how great my friends and sisters have been to me. I seriously would not be able to make it without them.

On Wednesday I finally got an appointment with the orthopedic surgeon. Bad news: I'm on crutches and am allowed to put absolutely no pressure on my leg for 3 months. Good news: no surgery and no cast and I have hardly taken any pain medicine at all! It is truly a God thing. 3 months is such a long time, but as long as I don't have to have surgery I can totally handle it.

I feel so optimistic about this, especially because I am in virtually no pain at all, but I am also really having a hard time not getting discouraged. I feel like I can't do anything on my own and I hate that. I am completely dependent on other people for everything. My best friend had to help me get a shower. I can't go upstairs by myself. I can't get a shower if no one is here (although I now have this nice little old lady chair in the shower which makes my life so much easier). I can't help with the dishes or the laundry. I can't sleep. I wake up every morning with my whole body hurting horribly from not being able to move all night. I would rather watch paint dry than sit in class for 3 hours in the exact same position every day. I am tired of sitting period. I can't ride in a car like a normal person. I can't drive. I want to be able to carry on with life without someone having to be right next to me. I am so restless that it makes me cry. I feel like I have no control of my body. My palms and armpits have bruises from the crutches. I am so thankful for my amazing friends, but this is going to get old for them too.

I think God is teaching me something about pride and dependence. I'm not sure what, but I am hopeful. Even when I get discouraged, I'm hopeful.

I won't let Satan try to get in the way; this is still going to be the year of great.

about 3 hours after