Friday, October 9, 2009

The Dream of Someone Else

There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about and pray for the man I am going to marry. I probably don't even know him, but something in me knows that I already love him. It might sound crazy, but it makes perfect sense to me. I have a journal where I sometimes write to him and I plan to give it to him when we get engaged one day.

I can't wait for the day we meet. Will I know he is the one? I can't wait for our first date. I can't wait for the first time he comes over to my house. The first time he meets my friends. The first time he comes home with me and meets my parents. For the first time he comes to church with me. I can't wait for the day he asks me to marry him. The day we get married. To live with him and for how much fun it will be to live with my best friend forever. For the day we go on our first mission trip together. To work in our first church together, in whatever country we may end up in. I can't wait to discover what country that will be. I can't wait for the day I tell him I'm pregnant with our first baby, and the day that the baby is born. For the day we go to China and Mexico or Africa or wherever else God leads to adopt our babies. I can't wait to do life with him, the way that God intended it.

Some days I get kinda mad at him for not being here yet. There are times where I feel like I just need him here, like there is something missing. But until he gets here, I'll just keep fervently praying for him. Praying that he is following God right now. That he is praying for me. That he is listening to what God is saying. That he is waiting for me like I am waiting for him.

I don't know who he is, where he is, or what he is doing, but I am always praying for him and patiently waiting for him to find me. And what a glorious day that will be!

I don't know if you're near or far away,
But I know that I'm praying for you today.
I don't know if I even know your name,
But I know that I'm praying for you just the same.
Someday we'll fall in love
You'll be mine and I will be yours
Our hearts will be one
And our love will ever endure.
-Someday, Larue

I can't imagine anything, anything better than
Someday falling in love with you
Holding your hand
Making our plans all come true
Someday under a sky so blue
I'll give you my heart
Our story will start
Someday soon
-Someday Soon, Francesca Battistelli

Darling, did you know that I dream about you
Waiting for the look in your eyes
When we meet for the first time
And darling, did you know that I pray about you
Praying that you will hold on
Keep your loving eyes only for me
-Wait For Me, Rebecca St. James

I want it to be like that: where I close my eyes and throw back my head with laughter and step up to dance with You. My tiny hand in Your infinite one; my steps so clumsy compared to Your graceful ones. The music begins and we step out onto the floor. My grip tightens, knowing I will fall, but also knowing You will guide me. The music swells, roaring into my ears until I am so enraptured that I can't look at anyone but You. My hands and feet poised for the next step, my head up, and a smile of love on my face. And maybe, just maybe, then I will not even notice when You turn to one of Your sons and invite him to dance with me.

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