Saturday, October 10, 2009

My God Is The God Who Provides

When I first got back from Mexico, things got really rough for a few weeks. Even though I got a lot of work done before I left, I was still behind in school. I had an art project due, 2 big tests, a few quizzes, and all my regular classes and school work. Throw in placement every day and sorority on top of that and you have recipe for stress. I had only been back an hour Sunday night and I found myself sitting in my chair crying uncontrollably. Yes, I'm a crier, but this was far more than expected, even from me. I thought I was perfectly fine to be coming home, and I was wrong. I wanted to be in Mexico more than anything in the world. I didn't want to face real life. Real life is hard. Real like sometimes just stinks. Real life is stressful. Mexico was perfect. That's where I belong. That's where I want to be.

So there I was, crying and stressing and asking God what I was supposed to do in that moment, and He brought me these words: "I will not offer burnt offerings to the Lord my God which cost me nothing. " 2 Samuel 24:24. I gave this verse to my sweet friends as they went on their way to Costa Rica this summer and talked about it repeatedly to my precious girls at camp, but I had let it slip from my own mind. If going to Mexico didn't cost me anything, it wouldn't be a sacrifice. I found peace in the knowledge that God had already taken care of it all and all I had to do was believe that.

Thanks to our almost 2 hour round trip carpool each day and my carpool-mates, I aced my special ed test. With some help from Savannah over a great Chick-fil-a lunch, I almost got an A on my child development test. I even got a B on my math test, which is a huge deal for me! The last problem was my art class. When I talked to my teacher before I left for Mexico, she told me that she was fine with me going but that meant I would get a B in the class because you can only miss one day and I was missing two. I was unhappy about it, but I told her that my trip was more important to me. Then it became a problem because there was even the possibility that I could get a C in the class if she counted the fact that I missed the first day, even though I hadn't added the class yet. Lots of stress there, but I just went on the trip and refused to think about it. The day that we turned in our final projects, she was going through my box of lessons and told me that she had been thinking about it and didn't think it was fair for me to get a B. Her exact words were something along the lines of, "I think it's a really great thing that you people do on those mission trip things"- too funny! So she decided to give me an A anyway! I could have just hugged her right then and I got a little teary eyed, but didn't make a fool out of myself, of course.

I am so thankful for the way that God totally provided for me in this area. I absolutely love knowing that I am exactly where He needs me to be, and He affirms that for me every single day! I love being in His will, because being outside of it is one of the scariest things I can think of. I can finally say with confidence that there is no where else I would rather be.

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