Friday, December 11, 2009

I Kissed Dating Goodbye?

I will be the first to say that I have developed some rather prudish opinions on dating. I'm not trying to be cynical at all, in fact I am very hopeful, but I've been hurt too many times and I'm done with it. Obviously the way I have tried to date in the past has not worked, so I am dedicating the next... who knows how long? to really seeking God on this and learning as much as I can about how God wants me to handle dating relationships in the future. We started Louie Giglio's series, Boy Meets Girl, in Sunday school and I decided to start reading I Kissed Dating Goodbye. Now, don't think I am saying I will not date, because I'm not, but the whole book is about letting go of the world's views and living to a higher standard, which includes my dating life.

I in no way intend to bash any of the boys I have dated, but I have always felt like I have had to set the physical boundaries or take control of situations and lead us, and I am learning that I am designed to be led. I want to be led. And I need a man who is stronger than me. Who will fight to protect my purity as much as I have fought to protect it. Someone who isn't afraid to be drastic if necessary to make sure that we do this God's way. And I refuse to ever settle for less.

I have learned so much and am so excited about what God is going to do in my future and how He is preparing me for my husband. These are just some of the things I have read or Louie has said over the past few weeks.

-relationships are successful when God is first and foremost in our hearts.
-I have intrinsic value because I am created in God's image. And so does the man I date.
- when my man looks at me one day and says, "wow!" it will be 100 miles short of the "wow!" God spoke when He created me.
- stop asking, "what can he give to me?" and start looking at what God has given him.
- something is going on between him and God that I can't top. and I don't want to.
- I can't sit here and wait unless I'm trusting God.
- God intended for us to be together, be naked, and feel so shame.
- without a relationship with Christ and my Creator, I can't have one with a man.
- God is thinking about my marriage.
- God has a mission for our lives together.
- my relationship with God is the key to the success of my relationship.
- When we make God's glory and other people's needs our priority, we position ourselves to receive God's best in our lives as well.
- Deepening intimacy without defining a level of commitment is dangerous. An intimate relationship is a beautiful experience that God wants us to enjoy. But He has made the fulfillment of intimacy a byproduct of commitment-based love.
- Physical involvement can distort two people's perspective of each other and lead to unwise choices. God knows we will carry the memories of our past physical relationships into our marriage. He doesn't want us to live with that guilt and regret.
- Unless a man is prepared to ask a woman to be his wife, what right has he to claim her exclusive attention? Unless she has been asked to marry him, why would a sensible woman promise any man her exclusive attention?
- We cannot live in the future, but neglecting our current obligations will disqualify us for tomorrow's responsibilities.
- God gives us singleness- a season of our lives unmatched in its boundless opportunities for growth, learning, and service- and we view it as a chance to get bogged down in finding and keeping boyfriends and girlfriends.
- As a single, you have the freedom right now to explore, study, and tackle the world. No other time in your life will offer these chances.
- In its wild abandonment to obedience, the God fashioned life leave no room for pettiness, insincerity, wasted time, or selfishness.
- The Christian with his or her eyes on the goal of sincere and intelligent love will find throwing out the world's approach to relationships as no sacrifice.
- All of the world's deceptions flow from the belief that love is primarily for the fulfillment and comfort of self.
- The world takes us to a silver screen on which flickering images of passion and romance play, and as we watch, the world says, "This is love." God takes us to the foot of a tree on which a naked and bloodied man hangs and says, "This is love."
- True love waits, but not just for sex. It waits for the right time to commit to God's brand of love- unwavering, unflagging, and totally committed.
-We must stop trying to fit God's ideas into the lifestyles society has defined for us and allow His values and attitudes to redefine the way we live.
- Only by learning to wait, and by a willingness to accept the bad with the good, do we usually attain those things that are truly worthwhile.
- The right thing at the wrong time is the wrong thing.
- Our attempts to rush God's timing can spoil the beauty of His plan for our lives. Just because something is good doesn't mean we should pursue it right now.
- Before two people are ready for the responsibility of a commitment, they should content themselves with friendship and wait for romance and intimacy.
***this is my favorite: God has a perfect plan for your life. More than likely, that plan includes marriage and, somewhere in this world, God has the perfect person for you. You may or may not know this person right now. If you spend all of your time and energy trying to hunt this person down, you may actually do that person a disservice. This guy you will one day marry doesn't need a girlfriend or a boyfriend. What that person really needs is someone mature enough to spend the season before marriage preparing to be a godly wife.
- Waiting for God's timing requires trusting in God's goodness. We develop patience as we trust that God denies us good things in the present only because He has something better for us in the future.
- The key to contentment is trust. If we are discontented with singleness, we'll more than likely face discontentment when we're married. When we define our happiness by some point in the future, it will never arrive.

Ok, I know it's a lot, but it's good stuff y'all. Seriously.


  1. "Waiting for God's timing requires trusting in God's goodness. We develop patience as we trust that God denies us good things in the present only because He has something better for us in the future" love this!

    Donald Miller said something Saturday night about how Adam must have felt in the Garden, responsible for naming all the animals (just think about what kind of time consuming task that would have been!! not my first pick lol) and how he must have been lonely... but in God's timing.... Eve. That makes me say wow!

    when you said earlier you blogged on this topic, i had to come see what you wrote. you're right--it's good stuff. love ya girl

  2. All I've got for this is "AMEN!"