Thursday, December 3, 2009

Baby, Baby, The Stars Are Shining For You

Linds and I were discussing how annoying it is when people put things such as, "can't wait to get home to see my baby!" in their Facebook status when they are clearly teenagers and only dating and, let's be honest, it's probably not even going to last because you are 14 years old and in no way prepared for the commitment of marriage. Perhaps I am excessively sensitive to this subject because of this new learn-as-much-as-I-can-about-Godly-dating kick I'm on, but nonetheless, it is obnoxious. In our attempts to avoid studying, we have composed what you are about to read. Feel free to add more, if the Spirit so leads you.

Qualifications to Use The Word "Baby" In Your Status:
- you have a car seat in your car
- you will be going home to a legit child
- you have an infant that you have recently given birth to
- you have bottles in your refrigerator
- you are a mom or dad
- you have changed at least 6 diapers in the past 24 hours
- you have changed clothes at least twice because someone spit up on them
- you got less than 5 hours of sleep last night and you are not a college student
- you spend more time at Baby Gap than Gap itself
- you accidentally call your husband "daddy"
- your purse suddenly begins looking more like a diaper bag
- you often find yourself talking to adults in baby talk
- your profile picture is no longer a picture of you, but of your child
- you have a crib, and it does not refer to your house

Reasons NOT to Use The Word Baby In Your Status When Referring to A Significant Other:
- it makes others throw up in their mouths a little
- your significant other is not, in fact, a baby. that would be called statutory rape/ pedophilia.
- said person does have a name that is intended to be used.
- there is a fine line when practicing PDA, and this has crossed it.
- his friends will make fun of him, and yours will too behind your back
- you generally want your legit baby to sleep in his or her own bed. this is not true of your significant other. AS LONG AS YOU ARE MARRIED!

*side note: I am not opposed to the use of the word "baby" as a term of endearment, just the ridiculous use.

1 comment:

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