Wednesday, April 15, 2009

All of my life, and nothing less

It's so hard to believe that I only have about a week and a half left before I am half way done with college. Even as I write this, I have 2 tests tomorrow (yes, the week before finals, please explain the logic behind that) that I should be studying some more for. This semester has been the most difficult time of my life as far as school goes... and those of you who were around during the times of Mrs. Harrell of Algebra 2 '05 and Mr. McAree of Statistics '07 in high school know that those were trying times, dear friends. Chances are that I am going to lose the HOPE Scholarship. I am not being pessimistic, I am simply stating the facts. My grades have dropped significantly this semester. I have done everything possible to keep from losing HOPE-extra credit constantly, visiting offices until the point of being somewhat annoying-and none of it seems to be helping. Tonight, Daddy called and I just could not stop crying. Once he got me to calm down, he told me that the only thing that him and my mom expect from me is that I do my best and that he is proud of me no matter what. Talk about taking a load of my shoulders! That's all I needed from him in order to be confident that I can do this; I can finish this semester. I will survive.

Thinking about this made me realize that the way that my Daddy sees me is exactly the way that my Heavenly Daddy sees me. He is proud of me. When I hurt, he hurts. When I am stressed, he wants to calm me. He wants all of me and my very best, nothing less, but nothing more. He is not disappointed in me. The only thing that He requires of me is my very best. He wants every bit of my life to be totally and completely devoted to Him. He wants me to give my all, and that is always enough. In these last few weeks of school, I want so bad to just slack off and not care, but as a child of God, I am called to give my all in everything I do, even when it is not something I enjoy. Has everything I have done this week been my very best? Honestly, probably not, but it's never too late to change that.

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