Thursday, August 12, 2010

As I Wait For You

We are always waiting on something. We are insatiable. We always want more- the next best thing. So many times I find myself frivolously thanking God for bringing whatever I was waiting on and jumping right to the next thing that I am so convinced that I need so badly. The amount of time I spend thanking, praising, and worshipping Him for His amazing faithfulness should far outweigh the amount of time I spend pleading for what I need want.

When does the waiting game start? I remember being so eager for middle school. So young, and so ready for something bigger and better. Then it was high school. Waiting for my first boyfriend. Waiting for the pain to pass after my first broken heart. Waiting to hear from God in seasons of silence. Waiting for college. Waiting to find friends. Waiting for yet another broken heart to heal (why didn't I learn the first time?). Waiting to figure out who I am in Christ. Waiting to find the man I'm going to marry. Waiting to know what I'm supposed to do for the rest of my life. Waiting on a ring. Waiting on a wedding. Waiting on the future. Waiting to know what the future holds.


Does it ever end? Why do we give waiting such a negative connotation? Who says waiting has to be a bad thing? Though I didn't cherish those times in the moment, it is during those different seasons of waiting that the Lord has taught me the most. He drew me closer when I was pulling away. He pursued me when I was running. He rejoiced over me with singing when I desperately needed to hear from Him. He captured my tears when I cried. He was relentless in His pursuit of me. He heard my cries and comforted me. When all I could do was wait. What precious times those turned out to be- times of communing with the Lord.

Today as I sat in Starbucks thinking and daydreaming and planning my future, I became anxious. I was so quickly reminded that God has not given me a spirit of timidity and fear but of power, love, and self-discipline, all of which lead to confidence in the knowledge that He can and will work in marvelous and miraculous ways like He always has. How exciting! Waiting doesn't have to be a bad thing. Waiting has been redefined.

"Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. I say to myself, 'The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for Him.' The Lord is good to those whose hope is in Him, to the one who seeks Him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord." Lamentations 3:22-26

"when I can't feel You, I have learned to reach out just the same. when I can't hear You I know You still hear every word I pray. and I want You more than I want to live another day. as I wait for You, maybe I'm made more faithful." -Brooke Fraser, Faithful

2 comments:

  1. 1. de.ja.vu.
    2. Look at you with your fancy word. :)
    3. I may've gotten a little teary reading some of this.
    4. Especially the paragraph after the aforementioned fancy word.
    5. I'm very proud of you.
    6. I have something else to say. Remind me.
    7. I LOVE YOU.

    ReplyDelete