Camping Is... In A Barn?

Last weekend our Sunday school class went camping in Calhoun. yes, it was extremely cold. the first night was worse than the second. On Saturday we (well, they) built a new hen house and fence and just spent time together. It was so wonderful... yes, I said that camping was wonderful. I really love my friends.

we slept in that barn. also in tents inside the barn.

these little guys were born that morning

this poor little alpaca died

Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow!

I Believe You're My Healer

We have been studying 1 Samuel in Bible study this semester. I love the Old Testament! I love reading about people and seeing myself in their place and figuring out what their life means to my life. It's so exciting, like a story, and you never know what is going to happen next. Whoever says God is boring has definitely not read some of the stuff in the OT. But I digress. The point is this: I immediately fell in love with Hannah in 1 Samuel. She was 1 of 2 wives to her husband, Elkanah. Wife #2, Peninnah, had no problem giving Elkanah children, but Hannah couldn't have any and Peninnah rubbed it in her face constantly. Hannah told God that if He gave her a son, she would offer him right back to Him. God gave her a son and she immediately offered him.

That being said, Friday morning I drove to placement by myself since I was meeting my mom before my appointment. I was kinda excited about being able to have 50 whole minutes of alone time to pray about what the day was going to hold. I turned off the radio and decided to just have a conversation with God the way whole way there. I like those moments where I just have conversations with him that literally start with something like, "ok, here's what's up"... as if He doesn't know. I kept thinking about Hannah: about her faith, her sacrifice, her love for the Lord and for her son. Hannah was so specific in her request. If Hannah can do it, why can't I? That conversation went something like this: "here's the thing God. I know that You have the power and ability to completely heal my leg and allow me to walk out of that office. I know you might not, but I know that You can. I don't have to walk out of there. I'm ok with that. but I want her to tell me that I only have 1 more month instead of 2. I want this to be the half way mark. I need to see the light at the end of the tunnel because I don't think I can do this for 2 more months. If You choose not to do this, I know that doesn't make You any less powerful, but I'm asking You to do this and believing You to do something awesome." Of course right after I said such a thing, I started to doubt myself. Things like that only happen in the Bible, not in my life. Who am I to think that God would ever do something like that for me? But I asked nonetheless. Couldn't hurt, right?

I had another xray and when my doctor looked at it she said my bones had healed "ridiculously perfectly." (I feel as though her close proximity to my age and the fact that she uses phrases such as aforementioned phrase are what make us get along so well.) She was amazed at how perfectly and just kept looking at the xray. She took my crutches and told me to hold onto her arms and try to walk. I'm sorry, what?! No way. But I did it. And she wasn't expecting that either and told me not to do it again. (confession: I walked across the living room today.) I can straighten it all the way almost, but can't bend it very much at all. I think a lot of that is fear. Sometimes I move it in a weird way and it hurts. Because I haven't been able to pinpoint exactly what I do that hurts so bad, I was terrified to bend it. She said at this point moving it isn't going to hurt it and I need to be doing it as much as possible. Since my range of motion is kinda lagging, I start therapy tomorrow. (Throwing out a prayer request for this to any of my sweet bloggy friends who are up at 7:30 am. I am terrified of therapy. It is going to hurt. bad. In fact a tear just slid down my cheek as I typed that because I thought about it. Ugh.) THEN she said that it looks like I only have 4 more weeks in the brace. 4 weeks, y'all! 4 WEEKS= LESS THAN 1 MONTH! Unfortunately the date she wanted to schedule my appointment is the day I'm supposed to come back from the beach for spring break (and also unfortunate that I will be on crutches on spring break) so I go back on March 22. In one month I will be walking again.

God is so faithful. I am so completely blown away and humbled that He would hear my request and answer it. I am really almost to a place where I am thankful for this darn broken leg. Almost. One of the new sisters broke her foot a couple weeks ago and I was able to help her get used to the crutches and Linds made them cute for her and I made them padded so they wouldn't hurt anymore. We have gotten to spend so much more time with her and have made a precious new friend. I have also been able to experience God in a whole new way: as my Healer. I have prayed for God to be this for other people and most definitely believed Him for that, but I have never experienced that part of Him. I am amazed at how He is revealing Himself to me and deepening my relationship with Him, even while I'm struggling with wanting so much more time with Him and feeling overwhelmed by a lack of time in general. He saw me fighting to find my way closer to Him and struggling so He came closer to me. I love that He meets me where I'm at. Although I would have chosen a different route, I love knowing God as a different role in my life and allowing Him to work through this when I can't.

You hold my every moment
You calm my raging seas
You walk with me through fire
And heal all my disease

I trust in You
I trust in You

I believe You're my Healer
I believe You are all I need
I believe You're my Portion
I believe You're more than enough for me
Jesus You're all I need

Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible for You
You hold my world in Your hands

February 19th

The date has been on an index card and taped to our door since my first orthopedic surgeon appointment. It's the date of my next appointment and Linds taped it there to remind me that that is what I was working toward and for us to pray about it. I have really learned to pray believing that God is going to do what I ask. I understand that He might not, but that's ok. I am still going to believe because I know that He can. And if He doesn't, that doesn't make Him any less capable.

I want more than anything in the world to walk again right now, and I know that God can make that happen sooner than the doctors expect. I also I know I will eventually and that it has only been a month, making this a very unrealistic aspiration. I just don't know if I can do this for 2 more months, y'all. The point of all of this is to ask y'all to please pray around 1:30 tomorrow. I'm so nervous about what they are going to make me do with my leg, how bad it will hurt, and what they are going to say. I've recently had some really intense bruising come out of nowhere and I'm really praying that it is only part of the healing process and nothing to be worried about. Of course I will keep y'all updated. Thanks sweet bloggy friends.

ps- Lindsey and I gave our blogs makeovers last night, so if you read this on some kind of blog manager deal (like I use bloglines), you should really come to our actual pages and check that out :)

Insert Witty Title Here

... because it is late and I lack one.

I have been tagged by my wonderful roommate Lindsey to do this little thing, and I am going to try not to be persuaded by any of her answers as I answer this... when I should be going to bed. Because it's 12:23 am and wake up call comes at 5. I am going to write the first thing that comes to mind and am not editing. Don't judge me.

I am redeemed, fearfully and wonderfully made, a daughter of the King, daughter, sister, & friend.

I have unspeakable joy!

I wish everyone knew the love and joy of Jesus.

I want more of God. I am so in love with Him and want to spend more time with Him. There is never enough time, and whatever time I spend is never enough. I want more. I can't get enough.

I fear rejection, not being good enough, spiders, being single forever.

I hear Linds talking.

I wonder when I will ever sleep again and where my husband is right now.

I regret very few things in my life.

I love love. I love to give love. I tell people I love them a lot, because I do. I love to love on people.

I always fall asleep listening to the rain on my computer at night.

I usually get ready in the exact same order every day. This has been slightly altered with the broken leg situation and all, but 99% of the time, this is true.

I am not ready to be in the real world and desire it so much at the same time.

I sing constantly. and loud.

I rarely stay mad about anything. I can't be mad for long no matter how hard I try.

I never don't have a song in my head.

I cry for every emotion. It's a bit out of control probably...

I am not always on time. I hate this about myself, but it's true nonetheless.

I need to be loved, God, music, to go to bed, to be hugged, to smile.

Now I think I'm supposed to tag people, but I don't really know who reads this blog, so just go for it :)

Fashioned

Some girls at church are doing this great Bible study called The King's Daughter. I can't go because it's at home, but Kelly has been sharing some stuff with me and I can't wait to read it! Sunday Ashley read us this letter from the book and it was exactly what I needed to hear at that moment. I think sometimes we need to be reminded how special we are. special, not better. special and different and unique. Love it.

Beloved,

When I created the heavens and the earth, I spoke them into being. When I created man I formed him and breathed life into his nostrils. But you, woman I fashioned after I breathed the breath of life into man because your nostrils were too delicate. I allowed a deep sleep to come over him so I could patiently and perfectly fashion you.

Man was put to sleep so that he could not interfere with the creativity. From one bone I fashioned you. I chose the bone that protects man’s life. I chose the rib, which protects his heart and lungs and supports him, as you are meant to do.

Around this one bone I shaped you. I modeled you. I created you perfectly and beautifully. Your characteristics are as the rib-strong, yet delicate and fragile. You provide protection for the most delicate organ in man: his heart. His heart is the center of his being; his lungs hold the breath of life.

The rib cage will allow itself to be broken before it will allow damage to the heart. Support man as the rib cage supports the body. You were not taken from his feet, to be under him, nor were you taken from his head, to be above him. You were taken from his side, to stand beside him and be held close to his side.

You are my perfect angel. You are My beautiful little girl. You have grown to be a splendid woman of excellence and My eyes fill when I see the virtue in your heart. Your eyes-don’t change them. Your lips-how lovely when they part in prayer. Your nose, so perfect in form. Your hands, so gentle to touch. I’ve caressed your face in your deepest sleep; I’ve held your heart close to Mine.

Of all that lives and breaths, you are the most like Me. Adam walked with Me in the cool of the day, and yet he was lonely. He could not see Me or touch Me. He could only feel Me. So everything I wanted Adam to share and experience with Me, I fashioned in you: My holiness, My Strength, My purity, My love, My protection and support. You are special because you are an extension of Me. Man represents My image. Woman, My emotions. Together you represent the totality of God.

So, Man, treat Woman well. Love her, respect her, for she is fragile. In hurting her you hurt Me,. What you do to her, you do to Me. In crushing her, you damage your own heart, the heart of your Father and the heart of her Father.

Woman, support Man. In humility, show him the power of emotion I have given you. In gentle quietness, show your strength. In love, show him that you are the rib that protects his inner self.

He fashioned me. He fashioned me. He fashioned me for my man, for us to be together. Fashioned. I love that. love love love it.