First Grade

I realize it has been 3 weeks since I left my first grade placement, but I am just now getting around to this. So here are a few cute/ funny/ favorite stories from my 6 weeks in first grade.

On my first day...

T overflowed the toilet in the boys bathroom and had to fill out a behavior slip. They have to write what they did wrong on the slip and then it is stapled in their agenda for the parent to sign. T wrote, "I overflowed the pot because I put 7 paper towels in it."

Friday before Labor Day weekend...

Me: What are you doing this weekend, A?

A: Well... (thinks real hard, then says, very rapidly) I have a real fairy godmother and she is coming to stay with me and she will come on her own airplane only she is bringing her boyfriend and I do NOT like him because he tells jokes all the time and he thinks he's funny but he's not. (finally breathes)

One day E's zipper got stuck at the top and the whole zipper separated. It made something that resembled a cape, if you will. This was really cool and by the time they came back from P.E., at least 7 other kids had done the same thing.

Because the students also learn Chinese, an announcement was made about Chinese Independence Day. S and T are big buddies. S is Asian. At the end of the announcement, they said something along the lines of "be sure to tell every Chinese person you see 'happy independence day', and T said, "too bad S isn't here today. I don't know any other Asians."

This version has been edited for the appropriateness of my readers: A came to me very upset one day. She's also very dramatic.

A: Ms. Moss! Tell Andrew to stop touching himself!

Me: umm... what..?

A: Andrew won't stop touching himself! Tell him to stop!

I believe I just told her to ignore him... oh my...

L: What year were you born?

Me: 1989

L: You were born in the 1900's?!?!

Me: Yes, what year were you born?

L: 2003. How old are you?

Me: 20

L: Twenty?! Oh my goodness!

Made me feel real old...

S used pencils for chopsticks. Enough said.

E has a really hard time in math, so I helped him a lot and did his tests one on one with him. He is still struggling, but I really developed a great relationship with him. He gets jealous if I help someone else and makes up excuses for me to help him. He told me he has a crush on me. He's precious. Is it wrong to love how much he loves me?

N hardly looked at or spoke to me for almost 2 weeks. I don't know why but I was just drawn to her sweet little smile. By the time I left she was sharing her stories with me and talking about Mexico with me all the time. I see her in the hall every day on my way to this placement and her face just lights up when I say, "Good morning, N" and she says, "Good morning Ms. Moss!" It makes my day...

I still see my sweet first graders all the time and they just make my day when they swarm me with hugs. I love that they still get that excited to see me and they love that I still remember all of their names and talk to each one of them. I just love them a whole lot. And that's all I have to say about that.

My God Is The God Who Provides

When I first got back from Mexico, things got really rough for a few weeks. Even though I got a lot of work done before I left, I was still behind in school. I had an art project due, 2 big tests, a few quizzes, and all my regular classes and school work. Throw in placement every day and sorority on top of that and you have recipe for stress. I had only been back an hour Sunday night and I found myself sitting in my chair crying uncontrollably. Yes, I'm a crier, but this was far more than expected, even from me. I thought I was perfectly fine to be coming home, and I was wrong. I wanted to be in Mexico more than anything in the world. I didn't want to face real life. Real life is hard. Real like sometimes just stinks. Real life is stressful. Mexico was perfect. That's where I belong. That's where I want to be.

So there I was, crying and stressing and asking God what I was supposed to do in that moment, and He brought me these words: "I will not offer burnt offerings to the Lord my God which cost me nothing. " 2 Samuel 24:24. I gave this verse to my sweet friends as they went on their way to Costa Rica this summer and talked about it repeatedly to my precious girls at camp, but I had let it slip from my own mind. If going to Mexico didn't cost me anything, it wouldn't be a sacrifice. I found peace in the knowledge that God had already taken care of it all and all I had to do was believe that.

Thanks to our almost 2 hour round trip carpool each day and my carpool-mates, I aced my special ed test. With some help from Savannah over a great Chick-fil-a lunch, I almost got an A on my child development test. I even got a B on my math test, which is a huge deal for me! The last problem was my art class. When I talked to my teacher before I left for Mexico, she told me that she was fine with me going but that meant I would get a B in the class because you can only miss one day and I was missing two. I was unhappy about it, but I told her that my trip was more important to me. Then it became a problem because there was even the possibility that I could get a C in the class if she counted the fact that I missed the first day, even though I hadn't added the class yet. Lots of stress there, but I just went on the trip and refused to think about it. The day that we turned in our final projects, she was going through my box of lessons and told me that she had been thinking about it and didn't think it was fair for me to get a B. Her exact words were something along the lines of, "I think it's a really great thing that you people do on those mission trip things"- too funny! So she decided to give me an A anyway! I could have just hugged her right then and I got a little teary eyed, but didn't make a fool out of myself, of course.

I am so thankful for the way that God totally provided for me in this area. I absolutely love knowing that I am exactly where He needs me to be, and He affirms that for me every single day! I love being in His will, because being outside of it is one of the scariest things I can think of. I can finally say with confidence that there is no where else I would rather be.

I'm Here To Meet With You

I am so thankful for a sweet friend who sent me a very generous check to buy this awesome chair and make myself a great quiet time spot. This is seriously my favorite spot in my whole room. Every morning (well, almost every morning) I have a great routine: get up at 4:30, get a shower, then I sit here in this chair for about 20-30 minutes and spend some time with the Lord. I quickly learned that I cannot make it through a single day without Him. Of course I knew this before this semester began, but as I said before, I am becoming more and more dependent on Him every single day. I found that I was in the worst mood and often felt completely defeated if I didn't begin each day with God. I do not love getting up so early, especially when there is no way that I can go to sleep at 9:00 every night like I wish I could, but I really cherish this time. I love having a spot where I can settle in and just meet with God. He is totally rocking my world these days and I absolutely positively love it! Though those 30 minutes are not the hour/hour and a half I got so used to last year and over the summer, I am finding random moments throughout the day to also spend time with Him. It's a great reminder that He is always with me. God is so good, friends! And so is this chair :)

love love love this place

:)

2-4-6-8

Last week we had our first philanthropy of the year, Cheers for Charity. It is basically a mock cheerleading competition. All of the sororities and fraternities enter a team and compete. This year was the second year and we had a great turn out. We also tend to take awesome pictures. Turns out cheerleading makes us cute.

The Dream of Someone Else

There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about and pray for the man I am going to marry. I probably don't even know him, but something in me knows that I already love him. It might sound crazy, but it makes perfect sense to me. I have a journal where I sometimes write to him and I plan to give it to him when we get engaged one day.

I can't wait for the day we meet. Will I know he is the one? I can't wait for our first date. I can't wait for the first time he comes over to my house. The first time he meets my friends. The first time he comes home with me and meets my parents. For the first time he comes to church with me. I can't wait for the day he asks me to marry him. The day we get married. To live with him and for how much fun it will be to live with my best friend forever. For the day we go on our first mission trip together. To work in our first church together, in whatever country we may end up in. I can't wait to discover what country that will be. I can't wait for the day I tell him I'm pregnant with our first baby, and the day that the baby is born. For the day we go to China and Mexico or Africa or wherever else God leads to adopt our babies. I can't wait to do life with him, the way that God intended it.

Some days I get kinda mad at him for not being here yet. There are times where I feel like I just need him here, like there is something missing. But until he gets here, I'll just keep fervently praying for him. Praying that he is following God right now. That he is praying for me. That he is listening to what God is saying. That he is waiting for me like I am waiting for him.

I don't know who he is, where he is, or what he is doing, but I am always praying for him and patiently waiting for him to find me. And what a glorious day that will be!

I don't know if you're near or far away,

But I know that I'm praying for you today.

I don't know if I even know your name,

But I know that I'm praying for you just the same.

Someday we'll fall in love

You'll be mine and I will be yours

Our hearts will be one

And our love will ever endure.

-Someday, Larue

I can't imagine anything, anything better than

Someday falling in love with you

Holding your hand

Making our plans all come true

Someday under a sky so blue

I'll give you my heart

Our story will start

Someday soon

-Someday Soon, Francesca Battistelli

Darling, did you know that I dream about you

Waiting for the look in your eyes

When we meet for the first time

And darling, did you know that I pray about you

Praying that you will hold on

Keep your loving eyes only for me

-Wait For Me, Rebecca St. James

I want it to be like that: where I close my eyes and throw back my head with laughter and step up to dance with You. My tiny hand in Your infinite one; my steps so clumsy compared to Your graceful ones. The music begins and we step out onto the floor. My grip tightens, knowing I will fall, but also knowing You will guide me. The music swells, roaring into my ears until I am so enraptured that I can't look at anyone but You. My hands and feet poised for the next step, my head up, and a smile of love on my face. And maybe, just maybe, then I will not even notice when You turn to one of Your sons and invite him to dance with me.

This Is My Declaration Of Dependence

So I started writing this September 29th. In case you didn't know, it's not October 9th. I have had absolutely no time to blog lately, but now it is fall break and I am probably about to go on a blogging frenzy. Even though it's not entirely accurate since I didn't finish when I started, I'm just gonna leave what I already had of this here post.

Here's what's up: I really shouldn't be typing this. I have a big math test tomorrow. But I also have a full heart that needs an outlet. So I turn to you, my faithful bloggy friends. And allow you to see what the past few weeks have been like for me, here in Dahlonega.

The education program may be the death of me. I am seriously reconsidering this whole taking 22 hours thing. I mean I seriously though I could handle this? It's insane. I haven't slept more than 5 hours on a week night in 2 weeks. I don't have time. There is so much to do and I spend so much of my time sitting in class getting more work assigned.

Lately I have been second guessing education completely. Do I really need this degree? I know that I want to do ministry. Don't get me wrong, I love teaching with all of my heart, but I don't want to teach math and phonics and base it all on the Georgia Performance Standards. I want to teach about love and forgiveness and grace and mercy and faith. I want to teach them about Adam, Eve, Noah, Moses, David, Paul, Esther, Mary, and Ruth. I want to teach them about how Jesus died for them and how much he loves them. I want to show them the joy and the freedom that He brings! I want to go to seminary now and learn about Greek and Hebrew and theology. Instead I am sitting here making a reading/phonics take home bag for my teaching of reading class. I started to wonder if North Ga is really where I need to be or if I should just drop this education program and head to Southeastern.

God quickly showed me that this is not His plan for me right now, no matter how much I wish it were. I really love Dahlonega a lot and I don't want to leave, but I also don't want to be here forever. Or for more than 4 years. Which is why I took 22 hours. What I have now learned is that there really is no use in trying to kill myself. I feel so dumb because my parents have said this over and over, and I have heard them loud and clear, but I didn't care. Because I am stubborn. Unfortunately, I have to learn things on my own, the hard way, by experience. And I always end up overwhelmed and/or hurt, but at least I learn.

So all of this can be summed up in saying that school is hard and life is absolutely insane, but God is SO good, friends! Every single day He shows me something that reminds me that He is here and He is in control. It comes in the smallest things: the beautiful sunrise on the way to school every morning, my precious Bible study girls, or lots of laughs with a friend. Through it all He is making me more and more dependent on Him. I have really gotten to the point where I sometimes feel like I can't make it through the day without Him, and I love that.

The Best Is Yet To Come

Let's revisit Casey's engagement for a moment.

For a couple weeks before she got engaged, she had absolutely no idea that anything was going on. She was clueless. And it was perfect. But so hard to keep it in. I wasn't around for the hours leading up to the actual engagement, but I do know that Case was not exactly the happiest camper. She was mad because no one could decide on a place to eat (because if they had fast food then it wouldn't take long enough!). She was mad because she still had on real clothes and it was 10:00 at night. Basically she was just kind of in a funk. But when she walked up to that chapel and realized that Ryan was waiting inside. And when she walked down that aisle to him and he proposed, none of that mattered anymore. This whole day had a bigger purpose.

Isn't that exactly how we are with God sometimes? I look at my own life and think how many times I have gotten frustrated and even down right angry with God for whatever He was doing in my life at that time. Even how many times a day I wonder, "what are You doing with me right now?" out of frustration. He has captured every tear I have ever cried, held me through the toughest times of my life, and never left my side, all the while knowing what lies ahead when I can't see it. Just like how we all knew the amazing way that Case's night would end, God knows what lies ahead. Just like we were beside ourselves with excitement, God is anxiously awaiting the perfect moment to make everything make sense. I love imagining God that way: huge smile across His face, practically jumping with joy about what He knows the end holds. And I can't wait to see what He has planned, because I know it is going to be incredible and far beyond my wildest dreams.